|
|
It
has been several years since I first posted this article
on line. While it is true I rarely take alcohol, for medical
reasons, and my collared is approaching 6 years sobriety
this Spring, I wanted to amend or clarify some of the thoughts
expressed here.
It is true, the Leather Bar may well
be one of the birthplaces of today's leather scene. Not
everything involving the "courtship" or seduction
in Leather pairing, need be so antiseptic as a perfectly
sober negotiation or contracting session. People drink to
relax, or to be social. The caveat is that we do nothing
to endanger another person. Drinking and playing wasn't
an issue when all was underground...just as safe sex wasn't
an issue before HIV and AIDS, we learn.
Many people with a variety of mood issues
and medications seek D/s. The reasons vary. So it is a simple
answer to just decide to say everyone can play the way they
want. Certainly. There are still people who are having casual
unprotected sex too. Getting the best experience means being
present and alive, not numbed or hiding. If a glass of wine
relaxes someone,before a big event, what is the harm? But
be real about it. Someone with severe chronic pain who is
tanked up on pain medication, taking the beating from hell...doesn't
make a "better" submissive then a newbie who may
need to call a safeword on a first spanking, just to be
sure there ARE real and working safeguards.
The Dominant who has to down the better
part of a six pack just to find the right "attitude"
will never be granted the joy of playing anyone I care about.
Submissives who are on mood stabilizers
of any kind.. have to understand that the scenes they partake
in will clearly alter the very chemicals their prescription
drugs are in place to regulate. So down time and aftercare
become critical. If you venture to work inside those places
with anti - depressants, hormone therapies or Manic depressive
medications, need to be clear and cautious and honest not
only with themselves but their Dominants and play partners
as well. Being honest with the person who prescribes your
medication is certainly worth considering as well.
I
have worked with several submissives who are on a variety
of prescription medications for mood stabilization. We work
to make sure the scenes are not designed to " replace"
medicine. You don't want to become a "seratonin"
pusher. The submissive needs to be compliant and on time
with his or her doses. Understanding that the crash and
burn after a good scene of flying can be much deeper in
such instances, is important.
On
the other end of the spectrum I would be remiss if I didn't
also note Laura Antoniou's speech in rebuttal of Safe Sane
and Consensual as the only rule on the playground. I provide
a link to her speech at the end of this page.
A
dear friend and supporter of This web site almost from it's
inception, sent me a letter regarding alcohol use in scene
play. This has never been addressed on this site and there
is little mentioned about it elsewhere. I have no medical
background but I tend to err on the side of safety where another's
life and well being are concerned. Her then, the letters. |
9.15.98
Dear
Sir,
I
hope you remember me from our chat a while back Sir .... and I
like to bring up a subject to which I am finding it hard to get
information on ....Safety and BDSM and D/s ..... There has been
a subject brought to my attention on alcohol use and D/s ... Such
has a vaginal cocktail and a alcohol enema..... I have studied
hard and found there is no information given on these subject
...But there seems to be a interest in then from others I have
talk to... There is a serious danger in this and being I respect
you and have look to your home page for information many time
think that we on my home page and you on your should have articles
written about the dangers of this ... Such as alcohol poisoning
.... due to the blood vessels drawing the alcohol directly into
the blood stream ... I hope you don't think i am telling you what
to do with your home page Sir but you have always had answers
for me and I thought this suggestion would add in the safety of
D/s and BDSM play I like when you have time your input on this
idea and advise
as
always you have never steered me wrong yet Sir and thank you for
listening to My suggestion
Brenni.....breni{LK}
I
can also be reached on ( EF NET) channel #D/s_haven
--------------
Simply
put.. There is no space for alcohol or other mind or mood altering
drugs in BDSM exploration.
Drinking
or mind altering substances from a submissive point of view often
can numb the very experience one would seek. True the endorphin
rush and seratonin level changes brought on by pain or bondage
play does seem to create a "similar" numbing place in
sub space... it is not an artificial event. Your own body is generating
the correct dosage to correspond with the stress that is introduced.
The
introduction of alcohol or other mood or mind altering substances
makes for a "chemical cocktail" that can be clearly
out of the Dom's control and thus endanger the sub who would trust
the Top.
An
alcohol enema? Not in a million years. Easiest way to a fatal
level of alcohol. Don't even think of it. How does your body regulate
absorption? How would the Top know the right mix? This is just
a method of messing someone up. Consensual or not it is not safe
or sane.
As
for Top space... Why would you want someone who takes your very
life and safety in hand to have even the slightest bit of impaired
judgment? Real Dom(mes) understand the responsibility granted.
Smokin a doobie or a beer or two is enough to cause errors in
judgment especially if the participants play near any edges. Even
a paddling a tad too hi can permanently damage a kidney in simple
spanking.
As
of late I have added mood altering meds to my list of personal
don'ts. After a string of submissives on anti -depressants or
manic-depressive meds I have learned they tend to drop their prescribed
meds since the pain induced chemical reactions can give a false
sense of normalcy for up to 24 hours.
I
don't advocate that folks on these meds refrain from play...but
I do make personal choices. I urge those who deal with estrogen
replacement, depressive or manic-depressive drug therapies, maintain
their medication schedules and discuss honestly their BDSM play
with therapist or doctors for good medical counsel.
Finally.
I should note, that unavoidably some of the local BDSM groups
do meet in places that offer alcohol. I socialize with folks at
these events but do NOT play with anyone who is drinking. Likewise
I am often very clear about the Cyber drinking I see on the net.
I feel it promotes abuse and sends wrong signals to those who
might be new to the scene. IF this Lifestyle is to be accepted
into o the main stream Safe Sane Consensual behaviors must be
taught and adhered to.
My
2¢
Sir
May
I have permission to post your letter and this response on the
Web Pages?
-----------
Yes
Sir
You
may post this letter and i hope it is alright if I do the same
on my page too Sir .... I feel as you do about this subject and
I want the subbie that brought this up to me in a quiet confidential
way to know and under stand they are messing with a lethal fire
of death... thank you for your input ant your strong standing
on this ... I wish more Dom's were more thoughtful and would think
before suggesting something like this for what is called "something
different" to do .
thank
you Again Sir
breni
|
