A chat friend of mine(1998-1999), Lord Stephan of Dallas, had
a page worth noting related to rules and safety as he employs
them with those he explores D/s.
The
rules I follow
Above all else the Dominant cherishes his submissive, in the
knowledge that the gift she gives him is the greatest of all.
He is demanding and takes full advantage of the power given
to him, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from
that precious gift.
He is in control of himself first and foremost, so that he may
control others. As a stern and demanding Dominant, he can cause
his sub to cry real tears. As the consummate lover, he will
then kiss the tears away, without ever stepping out of character.
In times of trouble, a Master Dominant will leave the roles
behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting
that this is still a loving relationship between two caring
individuals. He is quick to understand the differences between
fantasy and reality. He would never ask a submissive to put
him before her career, or family, just to satisfy his own pleasure.
To win his submissive's mind, body and soul, he knows he must
first win her trust. He will show his submissive humor, kindness,
and warmth. He must also show her that his guidance and tutoring
is knowledgeable and deserving of her attention, that this is
a man she can learn from, and trust his direction.
He is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. When
called upon, he will fight for his ladies' honor. He proves
to her that he is someone she can lean on, and depend on.
He is old-fashioned enough to be a bit of a chauvinist, yet
modern enough to respect his woman. Quick to point out the differences
between them, he also knows there is no inferiority in those
differences.
When it comes time to teach his submissive her lessons of obedience,
he is a strong and unyielding professor. He will accept no flaw,
nothing less than perfection from his student. He would never
set a trap for his submissive so that he could punish her when
she falls into it. Never does he use discipline without good
reason. When he does, it is always with a knowledgeable and
careful hand.
He is a careful guide, with safety always his main concern.
He knows how to use pain to extend the bounds of pleasure. Using
pain is a specific method of foreplay used to enhance the sexual
pleasure and experience. He is a mentor who can bring her to
the edges of her envelope, and gently show her the inner courage
to reach new heights.
He is always open to communication and discussion, always ready
to hear her wants and needs. He is patient, taking the time
to learn her limits, and knowing that as her trust of him grows,
so will they.
He never has to demand ritual behavior by her. She responds
to him out the want of pleasing him. Compliance comes from the
wanting to please, not the fear of punishment. He understands
the fragile nature of mind and body, and never violates the
trust given to him.
He is secure enough to laugh at himself and the absurdities
of life. Courageous enough to accept assistance. Openminded
enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow. His tools
are mind, body, spirit and soul with a little help from rope,
paddle and blindfold. He understands that each partner gains
most from pleasuring the other. And both of them know that love
is the only binding that truly holds.
Commands for my Submissives
- Silence:
Lower eyes and be silent.
- Present:
Remove clothes, kneel with knees spread wide, back straight
and head up, and eyes lowered, wrists crossed behind your
back then say; "Presenting Master". Wait patiently
for examination or instructions.
- Restrict:
Simply cross wrists behind back.
- Rest:
Kneeling & Sit on heels, legs spread and hands (palms
up) on top of legs.
- Submit:
Kneeling & Sit on heels, lean forward until head touches
the ground. Place arms overhead with palms up and wrists
crossed.
- Expose
(or Gorean) Submit: Kneel then sit back on heels, lean
back until your back rests on the ground and keeping legs
wide apart, place your hands over your head with wrists
crossed.
- Resume:
Cancels Previous Command.
Basic
rules
Always
ask permission to cum....
Never
be disrespectful to your master or OTHERS.
Do
not submit to be passed around as a sexual favor between
Doms.
Use
your safe word to stop unwanted activity. We can talk about
why after. You will never be punished for using it.
Always
respect the female Domme.... always address her as Mistress.
Remain
constantly alert attempting to anticipate your Masters desire.
Follow
instructions exactly and immediately.
Safety
rules
Do
not allow permanent injury, scaring, cutting, burning.
Never
leave nipple clamps on for more than 15 minutes. Allow blood
to circulate.
Never
allow yourself to be struck on ovaries or kidneys.
Always
use the safe word if suspended and limbs become cold or
numb.
Never
allow yourself to be hit with whip or crop on the tailbone,
head or neck.
