DOM SPACE

A question for Sir,

As You were showing me the toys last night online, i kept imagining You using them and Your mindset as You do use them....my question is....just how does it make YOU feel when You use those implements....for example, when You are cropping someone and You can see the reactions exactly what does that to for You or to You?

Dear girl,
 There are a myriad of motivations, sensations and satisfactions in working someone in a scene. Each scene is different so it would be hard to say every thing happens each time. Often it is about about Power and Control. Within the confines of the negotiation and what I think should be done with a scene partner, the World is mine, the flesh is mine and one of my intents is to bring the spirit to a new and elevated place.

In private or in public the crowd the room almost everything fades away perhaps the music remains. Anyone who would venture too close gets a scowl or a remark. Territorial. Like a Lion protecting it's kill. This is my flesh I have earned it. I will protect it from others you are interrupting my dining.

While the submissive may start with heart racing, and a heightened sense of awareness, I work using physical sensation, and words to guide them through a journey that takes them to "sub-space" In essence in a good scene I move them from an adrenal state to an endorphin state.

This is where the skill comes in. Reading the person, selecting the right implements as my mood or readings might suggest... altering pain with pleasure or both at one moment. Whispering warnings or suggestions or demands... almost to faintly to be heard. Growling or grunting bringing us both to a primal place. Tugging a chain or a leash to remind the partner of their helplessness, which amazingly allows them to let go of any thoughts of control or decision making. They can “go away” in the hands of someone they trust. It is freedom in bondage.

All this can be likened to artist. The colors and brushes are the tools and toys. The canvas is you. The final work is a piece that comes from our collaboration. With the same basic palette of colors and the same canvas, each Dominant will create their own masterpiece. As a Dominant I also will not paint the same image twice. It is something I approach both with the level of technical skill I have thus far reached, and the passion I may be inspired to bring to each work.

In a simple spanking there can be playfulness and a sharing of an event that might be more flirtatious than deeply flying deeply focused. Like a warm kiss on a second date on a cool October night. Savored and smiling and setting the heart to flight with dreams of things to come. I

n a deeper more intense scene, (which doesn't necessarily mean more pain, by the way) the focus becomes very heightened. When the meat of the kill is cut down and just a trembling mass, floating and speechless, drenched, tiny, and soaring, the Dominant will be loaded with adrenalin caring proud attentive with the heightened senses His subject began with. So much has to be done during a scene to read someone. Their breathing. Their automatic motions and twitches, the color and temperature of their wrists and hands for circulation, how long a clamp has been on, a previous injury site that should be avoided, it can be likened to working the flight control tower in a major airport. I should note I write from the position of being a caring Dominant. a pure Sadist will simply use the meat to his will and desire. I temper my desire with the confines of what can be done. In doing so it is like opening a gift. I know the wrappings but there is no telling the joy to be discovered inside.

What do I get? Trust, Intimacy, Control, a canvas to do my work, and a glorious sense of pride and satisfaction in that which is created. Others may view this venue as simply a warmly twisted foreplay to sex. It is the popular opinion. But in my mind, the sex is just one element or tool used to reach the intimacy and spiritual "floating" two people can attain. Do we marry for sex or do we use sex in a marriage to express intimacy and passion? I'd pose the same question for the BDSM scene. Is sex the goal or is it just part of the experience and self expression?