How do "I" feel about Humiliation play?! Oh don't get me started.
Too late!
First, some clarity about the notions of humiliation as relates to alternative lifestyle pursuits.
Humiliation is subjective; that is to say it is very different things to each person.
As an example being called a SLUT for one person may be a tremendously stressful, even damaging; evoking memories or fears of being seen as the promiscuous girl that everyone shunned in High School.
For another person (or even the same person later on in their journey) SLUT can be a badge of honor meaning they have shed all the larger society’s taboo’s about expressing sexual hunger and owning their lust in a safe relationship circle or community.
Humiliation is without question, edge-play. It is mind-play and there are lots of opportunities for unseen pitfalls, dark spirals, land-mines, or inadvertent degradation of a damaging or abusive nature.
I personally would recommend any person or couple venturing into the realm of psychological play, to be very clear about a few things. First off, prior to engaging in any form of humiliation play, develop a good foundation of mutual human respect with your partner. We are fragile at the core… understanding that and respecting it will actually allow you to venture further into the darkest places. For a submissive, the confidence that your partner isn’t just playing out some severe latent hostility towards women as an example, may be your lifeline when you find yourself in uncharted waters.
Fetish Diva Midori does a workshop on humiliation scening. In that class she explains how our sense of self worth and value is held up by various “pillars”. I am smart, I work hard, I am sexy, I am strong, I love my family, I am a good cook etc.
In humiliation work you can knock one or two pillars out from under a person and that can be a wonderful experience but you need to know the “load bearing” ones; the ones you cannot / should not bring down.
I have had a girl in my service that I could beat or call slut or piss on or humiliate in many many ways. She was very clear however from the onset she would never like to hear any slurs against her Hispanic heritage. I always honored that.
With people of color the same may hold true. Playing historical Master / slave roles might be a real taboo for some… for others it could be cathartic, cleansing with no disrespect intended toward ancestors. Neither approach is intrinsically wrong or right.
I cannot agree that because someone kneels, or yields to another they are “less than” or to be considered humiliated or even humbling themselves. Skilled attentive service is a thing of beauty and actually rare.
But the question is how do I “FEEL” about humiliation play and why. With a partner who responds well to it I feel gifted. The girl that can blush either from a compliment or a nasty remark is glorious. It is a connection a little bit of power exchange and transparency. If I have a partner within the aforementioned caveats, I can enjoy exploring the beast within…the monster in the basement can come up for a bit to play.
I might for example, require a partner during a BDSM based sexual encounter to respond only by being on all fours and barking like a dog… or just saying Woof. Saying it while they cum. While it fills my need for testing limits, ultimate control and Mastery in the scene ( all good things, mind you), the truth is I am also hopeful it touches something primal and animal in my partner…their beast also is evoked in doing things as I say.
One closing observation, we all have our own private kink. I recall one girl who told me she never masturbated herself; it was always a Ken doll that touched her. Finding partners who we can share such things with is truly a prize. Humiliation is but one tool in the tool bag.
I’ll immerse myself in it with a partner that can “go there”. But I’ll not feel a lacking if I work with a partner that has no interest in such. Some folks like spankings, some like to serve well, some like humiliation. And so it goes.
I’d love to hear what those who enjoy it, get from it.
Let me also share some links:
Daddy J
Fact Index: Humiliation | Erotic Humiliation.com | Humiliation Fiction Erotic Stories
Humiliation Alt.com submitted on 7/16/2004 by MDom4DsTraining | Humiliation by Kim- IronRose 2000
Humiliation: One Submissives View BoundLady | Mistress Karen slave steve FemDom Images
Understanding Narcissistic Humiliation Not sepcifically BDSM but some CEO / male subs might fit the profile.
Adult Everything.net ( http://www.adulteverything.net/fetish-guide/humiliation.html Link not provided because of porn pop-ups)
Defines Humiliation at a rather intense but narrow viewed level,
Humiliation - This fetish goes along with BDSM, Bondage, S&M, and Slaves. Making someone do something that would be humiliating. One such "job" is a toilet slut. The slut is chained to a toilet and made to perform various acts of humiliation. Cleaning the person using the toilet, either with tp or their mouth. Usually going along with Watersports. Another type of humiliation is being gang banged. Being bound and gagged and then your partner gets others to fuck you over and over. There are many types of humiliation and many websites dealing in this fetish.
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