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angel's bio

I did not start out considering myself as a submissive. In fact before I met DaddyJ I never knew about D/s. Looking back I see my mother as my first Dominant. Being an only child I was not spoiled and coddled as others were. I had structure and consistency daily. Someone once described my mother as “my Punisher, my Savior” which is the best way to portray our relationship. Without her I do not believe I would possess the inner strength I do today. When she passed away in 1988 I was lost. My father tried but could not make the transition from being the strong silent type to being my sole parent. We were both suffering deeply and were trying to find balance within our lives.

After some struggles and a new step mother I decided it was prudent for me to strike out on my own. Life was and still is very challenging. I led a sheltered life as a child and was going into the world not knowing what to expect. As others were settling down into marriages and having children, I was just beginning to learn about life on my own.

I suffered through some very difficult relationships learning what I could live with and what I would not. The first one was an older man. He talked a good talk but could not walk the walk. He was arrogant, pretentious, and full of BS. I did learn a lot from him though. It was not all a waste; in fact I think I'm a better person because of it. My second long term relationship was with a 6'4” blonde haired, blue eyed, cutie with an attitude. We dated for 6 months before moving in together. I thought I was being smart by taking my time. It ended up being a nightmare. During the first 6 months, he hid his “true self” from me. It was only after we moved in together that things started getting bad. I started noticing his moods just weren't right. All of his moods were extreme and his temper was out of control. Finally, I gave up after 2 long years. I was suffering from ovarian cysts and Endometriosis and could not continue living like that. I was in enough pain as it was. After 2 painful surgeries, I was feeling much better. I did not rush out and start dating though. I took my time and did a lot of reflecting.

During my hiatus, I pondered what it was I was truly looking for, what I so desired to make me happy. At that point I did not know the term “vanilla”. I just knew that what I craved was not what most people have in relationships.

I explored with a very close friend. Learning to share my desires, wants, and needs with another without the fear of being judged. It was during the time I spent with him that I learned of the pleasure hidden within pain. We played a bit with clamps on different parts of my body and I began to understand a bit more about what I truly desired. Unfortunately my feelings became more than he was willing to accept and I could not continue giving without more substance in our relationship. We remain very good friends to this day.

After some thought and consideration I posted on Alt.com hoping to find someone to satisfy my desires. That is when I met my first Dominant. Over time He taught me about spankings, bondage, the violet wand, thermal play, and the joy of pleasing Sir. He was patient and kind. Never forcing me to do something I was unsure about. When he first sent me an overall picture of his toys I was intimidated. I knew I liked spankings but wasn't sure about floggers and electrical play. Fortunately I took a chance and discovered a whole new world, one I felt comfortable in. Before introducing something new, he would always teach me about it and answer any questions I had. I often started out timid, not knowing what to expect but after every session more of my desires were discovered. We parted ways when life consumed time. Once again I have developed another great friendship.

It was only a matter of time that I started seeking someone to share the path I had begun. Fortunately I took the leap and found DaddyJ.

Sir and I had the pleasure of meeting on November 14 2004. I was just surfing, looking for information and someone “safe” to go to with my many questions. I had hit upon many profiles but going with my instinct, I chose DaddyJ. The timing was interesting because as I was looking for information, Sir's submissive was ending their 6 year relationship. All it took was for me to say “Excuse me Sir; I hope I am not intruding but I have some questions”. From there our paths merged. I made the choice to meet Him on a Friday night. We simply sat for a while, getting to know each other. On November 27th 2005, Sir placed a bracelet on my wrist. A collar of consideration. During the time we have been together, every day is a new learning experience for me. He has introduced me to D/s and the community.

When I first started exploring, I did not know about D/s. DaddyJ has been an excellent teacher and mentor. Sir is not only teaching me about taking care of Him, he is also teaching me how to take care of myself. Some of my lessons have been difficult but well worth the effort. Being a single woman in today's world has forced me to be very independent. Sir has handled this very well by giving as much as He asks.