For some time I have had a private password protected site that contained my personal training notes, kinks and non public sharings. But there are many files and links in the Inner Sanctum I can now share more widely. These aren't always kink based but apply to training skills for those who are earnest about working with me and learning my interests and ways.

Etiquette, anger management, time management relaxation, meditation, female orgasm, the female body itself, massage, reflexology, adult nursing, deep throat and fellatio skills.... an odd and eclectic bunch of resources that I group here for specific learning stimulation and discussion with those close to me and those who would seek to learn in my sphere. If you have discovered this or been invited to explore here, do so with an open mind. These are very personal views and interests and are not for all people.

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Malo's Notes | Articles | Human Sexuality Article: Tutorial by Nirate | Debbie Fox article | Other links

Malo's Notes on Female Ejaculation

My Discovery | Thoughts about Orgasms | Female Creaming
Female Squirting | About Inhibitions | Exploring

Finding good information about this topic, is often like hitting a moving target. Almost as soon as a good resource is posted it seems to disappear. I will share here what my personal observations and thoughts are, as well as a variety of links and pieces of data and discussion I have "duplicated" lest they evaporate. I include the original link in each instance.

My Own Discovery

My fascination with this phenomenon of female arousal, was first initiated with a porno video many years ago. Here are two visual examples of such material. Not until my Leather phase, did I discover (in the bathroom at a play party with a girl on her knees like a dog) how much fluid a woman aroused, might be able to produce. I was three fingers into her and she began overflowing with her juices. It was warm and wonderful, pumping with each contraction of her sex, no odor or sense of pee, and I was amazed and rather proud of myself. Being Domly of course I acted as if that was what I expected. But I was in a state of wonderment and bliss.

Not long after that, in a private session in my own dungeon, I was working with a woman who was new to scene and after a good session on the chain where I was able to get her to experience the euphoria of sub space (endorphin high) I slipped on my non latex gloves and without the need for lube, began manual stimulation and insertion at her vagina. This woman flowed endlessly for well over five minutes totally drenching the dungeon bedding area. This woman had considerable sexual experience and yet, confessed later she had never had such a cum before. It left her in an elevated and totally satiated state for several days. Needless to say, my Dom ego was in it's own headspace for having achieved such a good session with a new person.

Fast forward 6 months, and I am now working with a woman who I can actually get my sizable hand fully into. Massaging the G-spot and working her firmly, this woman begins spraying, without exaggeration, several feet like a garden hose. Suffice it to say that became a favorite scene of mine to recreate.

Since that time, I've read a lot and worked with many women to understand this phenomenon completely. I now enjoy teaching women to explore this "space" for themselves and even have success working with some subjects by phone.


Thoughts about Orgasms

At this point, allow me to make a few observations. The nature of orgasm and / or ejaculation both male or female, is a very individual experience. Most individuals regardless of gender will agree, many orgasms are powerful, some are just warm meltings, some at the moment, feel like the most incredible event in the history of the planet, and some are just frankly not worth opening your waistband for.

So even before we speak about the differences between people, we need to acknowledge that a variety of factors affect our ability to cum and the intensity od climax. Diet, health, hormonal cycles (even with men), mental acuteness or distraction, sourceof stimulation, length and type of stimulation or foreplay, length of time since the last sexual session, core moral constitution, and trust with your partner (assuming you are not working alone) are all variables. Did I miss any? I am sure I did.

The two points so far,

A. All orgasms or sexual climaxes are unique experiences.

B. At any given time we may respond to the same stimulation in a variety of ways and intensities.

and the third point is probably the most important one, as you explore this,

Everyone is different.

That is a glorious thing on it's own! Let me explain a bit further. Among men, penis size is often the measure of manliness. Yet some women would not want a huge fellow attempting the square peg in the round hole trick. Similarly the guy endowed with what is sometimes cruelly called a pencil dick, might have some wonderful moves and compensate to please His partner completely in other ways. With the right partner, sex can still be an awesome event. I myself am average in size and unlike many men I am not multi orgasmic but I love cunnilingus, so my foreplay can last quite some time and even after I climax, I am often likely to go after more cums from my partner in any variety of ways. My favorite partner is one who can endure and appreciate extended stimulation and repeated orgasms even if I am not "up" physically to recycle and perform repeatedly or instantly. We all find our way with regards to our sex.

 

Female Creaming

Some women wet at a whisper, some women need help with vaginal lubrication. Feminine wetness per se, should NOT be considered the only measure of sexuality or arousal. It can often be an indicator, and is arousing for a partner to discover or enjoy, but it is only one factor. Breathing, nipple state, coloring, involuntary hip motions, sounds, and verbal communication are all ways to communicate or read sexual arousal.

With all the above noted, I'll venture to state, I firmly believe that every woman can discover a more elevated level of moisture if not total ejaculation or spraying than they have previously known, assuming they have not previously discovered this aspect of their sexuality.

As I can see, there are two primary types of feminine fluid. One emanates from within the vagina. Vaginal lubrication tends to be either a thick whitish cream or a clear slippery wetness depending upon the individual and their place in their hormonal cycle. This fluid seems to serve several proposes one is to maintain a proper "flora", cleaning the vaginal cavity and when stimulated sexually providing lubrication for insertion. Just as we salivate when we anticipate something tasty.. (Think of a lemon drop or an orange slice and see how your mouth "wets" in anticipation of the sensation).. so does the vagina prepare when sexual stimulation or thoughts are evident.

When some women climax, the amount of such "cream" can be anything from a heightened flow to a down right "pouring" from the vagina. This is because part of the male female sexual response is tied to temperature. As the woman becomes "hotter" the man swells more fully and visa versa. The sex organs are doing a dance of their own. The man's swelling signals the woman that the male ejaculation is imminent. The deeper thrusting hits nerve endings located deeper inside the vaginal cavity which then triggers the woman to create a heavier "flow" to allow (in theory) a better fluid base for the sperm to flow and hit their mark.. The heat of this fluid signals the male to release. Sadly, quite often this happens far sooner then woman might enjoy. (Especially if you are not the type of male who can "recycle" quickly) If your partner tends to thank you and roll over to sleep, you may find yourself wired and ready to scrub the kitchen for all the excess stimulation left over.

The man (or partner, in the case of same sex lovers) who goes after, or pushes deep for more orgasms from the woman may well discover an untapped wealth of sexual ecstasy, and consequently more fluid. A combination of clitoral and deep vaginal probing ( careful: there some"Owie" places in there too; learn your partner) can totally enhance your sexual explorations.

At one end of the spectrum I am enjoying teaching a woman to " dribble" on verbal command without any physical stimulation. At the other end..if you are not able to lubricate there's no need for alarm. Biological conditions, post menopause, diet, and general constitution are all components of this. Find a favorite lubricant and enjoy all the sex you want.

Female Squirting

Now to the "squirting". I've included a ton of writing and other links about what this is and where it comes from and I can conclusively say.. No one seems to have it all figured out. One of the great mysteries of life.

Some theorists will have you believing that the right stimulation of the "G-spot" or "G- Crest" will get a woman to this " ejaculation" state. Frankly many women can do this in their own privacy with just clitoral stimulation. For some women however internal stimulation is the key. One woman confessed she never came like this until she "rode" a Symbian or motorized fuck toy.

I'll offer a few additional observations. In my experience this phenomenon is most often generated with manual stimulation in an environment of deep trust, and when an altered state of eroticism euphoria, endorphin high or spiritual transformation are achieved. The female ejaculation seems to require a very primal state of being. It is a very physical, animal level with virtually no inhibitions left. In fact it is this stripping away of inhibition that makes the experience such a powerful one.

Inhibitions

To get there we must understand why this has such a mystique. Victorian era mores taught civilized society that females were not to enjoy sex. Even to day in some Master / slave relationship models, often one partner's pleasure is the only goal of a sex act. Think of how women are programmed about bodily functions in "polite" society. Women have to "hold" their gas, are made to feel that their period may be a "dirty" time and their privates should be the source of immense modesty and even shame. In an environment where the male is seeking to spray his seed or find his own pleasure, even the elevated woman who has discovered her clit or her ability to orgasm may not give herself permission to do much more. I don't mean to sound sexist and I know, there are many many women who enjoy totally unbridled sex, but I am speaking of obstacles to getting there for others, and this is one of them.

"Making a mess, isn't lady like. " "Sometimes I feel like I am going to pee.. gawd wouldn't that be awful?" " I don't like internal stimulation." "I'm shy with my lover". There are so many things that loan themselves to sexual inhibition.

Exploring

Gratefully a good partner or a D/s relationship can cut through much of that. Spread a lot of towels and a plastic drop cloth...and tell your woman you want her to explore a total release this day. The submissive who wants to please the Dominant will begin to work mentally on "giving over" her body to the Dominant's wishes. Making a mess is the goal. Letting your body " go" is part of the journey.

After your normal scene or foreplay, when you have the woman aroused or flying in endorphin space, try placing her on "all fours" in an animal position, or over a spanking bench. If she is into bondage, bind her. ( Many submissives can only get deep if they feel it wasn't their "fault", the bondage often adds to this "freedom") If she isn't into bondage or doesn't;t know.. Move slowly in that direction. This may not be the time to add that dimension or it might just trip the trigger. Bondage isn't a requirement here.


click pic to enlarge

If the woman can enjoy orasgm at external stimulation, such as clitoral or nipple play do so first. Be sure your fingernails are very trim and smooth. put on a glove if you prefer use a lubricant even if you don't think you need one...and enter her gently. Work her a bit and encourage her to move against your hand as well. Probe the girl deeply hitting the back wall of her vagina just above (below in the inverted animal position) the cervix. triggering the deep penetration areas. This need not be a deep thrusting at this point. Nor does it need to be more than one or two fingers. Work the tip of the cervix a bit. Then down ( again" up" in the animal position) toward the anal canal and bowel area. Each "zone" will bring the woman different sensations. Learn where she feels good sensations and where she may feel a pain that isn't pleasurable. Map these in your mind as you work, Learn your partner.

Now curl your fingers down just behind the pubic bone. I like to say this is the spongy place just behind the clitoris. If your thumb is on her clitoris it will be much like the grip you have on a six pack of canned drinks. GENTLY massage that "spongy" area or G-Crest. For some women it will be a dead center sensation for some it will be actually up ON the pubic bone and vaginal entrance. Many women report it is off center to the right (as they are face up). where ever you locate it, she will feel as if she needs to pee... ( even if she has already emptied her bladder). Remind her there are towels and you WANT her to make a mess. What you are doing is stimulating glands around her urethra and bladder so the sensation of course FEELS like a pee signal. This is the point the woman would benefit to get beyond. Elements that can be brought in at this point include dirty talk, growling and even biting. Reaching an animal state is vital here. I have found that it isn;t just massaging or wringing out the "g-spot" that is important. (A milking action towards the urethra helps as the energy grows....) But a growling and even biting her might trigger the primal state. With some partners I require they bark or growl themselves. Adding more fingers creates a " stretching" of sorts on the vaginal lips which is also a vital trigger. You don't want to generate serious pain in this action but certainly create a sensation that the woman is being used and taken no matter what.

I honestly believe a woman sprays in response to being taken or used and is in a sense "marking" her mate in a very animal response.

Don't expect Niagara Falls the first time. But also don't be surprised or shocked if it comes....and comes. Encouraging words count here. If you freeze or balk you can create more obstacles then when you started. Keep working. With short breaks you can wring a cooperative woman out for anywhere from 5 -30 minutes.

Keep in mind that this is an act or "scene " that will grow better with each session. As she gets more comfortable with what the experience is and the afterglow she will be more open to "getting there" with you. Be sure your first session is not some full scale violent assault from the start. Be gentle and work to a place that is pleasant and yet powerful and exciting. Listen to safewords and change directions if you hit an owie or so. Building trust is important.

If you or she is unable to get to an elevated state or ejaculate performance, don't despair. As I first noted, any one orgasm or sexual session may not be the right one. Everyone is wired differently. Come back in a month and revisit the idea. Allow trust to grow or concede it just isn't the thing you wish to do together. You cannot force someone to go where they are not capable or ready for, no matter what the obstacle or wiring.

In afterglow I assure you she will not want to scrub the kitchen. Make sure you have ample fluids for her to drink. A water bottle with a sports nipple top is handy. You'll want an additional towel to wipe her (and yourself) down and a blanket to cover her.

Obviously this isn't the scene to try an hour before the PTA bake sale or if you don't allow a long time for afterglow and recovery.

As you discover this level of stimulation it may become easier and easier to attain it with less effort.

Enjoy your journey and the additional links and reading here.
If you need, I'll be glad to lend a hand. <wink>

-Malo

Originally I had links to a powerotics page that included Fisting and Female Ejaculation resources. Alas those pages are now gone. So rather than just link to sites and discussions I have posted several here.

I do enjoy showing women this amazing part of themselves and while I have created this page to assemble discussions on the topic, I do not subscribe to everything posted here. But this is a good place to learn more and think in new ways.

Domination is often about leading you to better understandings.. Enjoy the journey.

Female Ejaculation Articles

excerpted from oxygen experts,

dear delilah,
Is it possible for a woman to ejaculate? My girlfriend gushes liquid when she has an orgasm. It is not a huge amount of fluid, but it's definitely noticeable, and somewhat thinner and wetter than normal lubrication. It doesn't seem to be urine. It's taken some reassurance for her to relax enough about this to enjoy herself during sex. I've never experienced such a thing before and am very curious. What do you know about this phenomenon?
- lover boy
dear lover boy,
Yes, some woman do ejaculate when they climax. And they can't change it or control it -- anymore than women who don't ejaculate during orgasm.
In your case, it's important for your girlfriend to know that the fluid she emits during orgasm is normal. In a groundbreaking book called "The G-Spot," by Alice Ladas, Beverly Whipple,and John Perry, it was first publicly noted that some women ejaculate during orgasm. The fluid comes from the urethra, not the vagina, but it is not urine. The composition is still unknown, and the amount and consistency vary from woman to woman and from interlude to interlude. Most women who can ejaculate experience a sense of deep relaxation and relief when the fluid is released.
Some women are so embarrassed or unsure about the fluid that they try to hold it in, which can cause frequent urinary tract infections. Best off to let your partner know that it's completely normal for SOME women to ejaculate, and that it's okay for her to relax and enjoy. For more information on women's ejaculation, click here.<Dead link>

advice originally given on January 21, 1997

---------


"Women ejaculate, too"
From the May 2000 issue of Self magazine.

There's more than one way to make a wet spot - in fact, there's a whole camp of doctors who believe that all women ejaculate when they have an orgasm. In one study from Florida State University in Tallahassee, 82 percent of women said they experienced a release of fluid at the moment of orgasm. Haven't noticed this yourself? "Since most women are lying on their backs during sex and the amount of fluid is so small [about a teaspoon], it sometimes doesn't come out," explains Beverly Whipple, professor at Rutgers University and president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. "But research has demonstrated that all women ejaculate a substance through the urethra that is not urine.""


Female Ejaculation
Society for Human Sexuality

topic: Female Ejaculation Tutorial

started by: Nirate

1. Female Ejaculation Tutorial
 by: Nirate
 on: 02/22/01 23:14

Female Ejaculation: What it is and how to do it.
History
If you were to refer to literature over the last 50 years you would be lead to believe that females have only been able to ejaculate since about 1980. Of course this is absurd, and just shows how "the experts" can be wrong for decades on just about anything. Many knew the experts were wrong, but had little success in convincing anyone. Needless to say this lead to many problems, needless surgery (to fix the poor women who would ejaculate), expensive counseling (got to find out what happened when they were children to cause this "problem"), and in some cases divorce. "The G Spot" by Alice Kahn Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John D. Perry, has dozens of letters from women who went though various personal tragedies because they would ejaculate during lovemaking. Doctors, gynecologists, and psychiatrists invariably told them they were peeing and needed either surgery or psychotherapy.
Newsweek published an article entitled "Just How the Sexes Differ" in May of 1981. One of the major difference was listed was that men ejaculate, but women do not. However, Aristotle wrote about female ejaculation, and Galen knew about it in the second century. The female prostate, which generates the fluid which is ejaculated, was described in some detail by De Graaf in his "New Treatise Concerning the Generative Organs of Women". (1) "... during the sexual act it discharges to lubricate the tract so copiously that it even flows outside the pudenda. This is the matter which may have been taken to be actual female semen." He describes the fluid as "rushing out" with "impetus" and "in one gush." (2)
   The medical community was finally awakened in 1980 when Perry and Whipple showed a film of a female ejaculating to the SSSS (Society for the Scientific Study of Sex). Martin Weisberg, M.D., a gynecologist at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia responded, "Bull ... I spend half my waking hours examining, cutting apart, putting together, removing, or rearranging female reproductive organs. There is no female prostrate, and women don't ejaculate."
Yet after seeing the film and witnessing the event in person he changed his tune: "The vulva and vagina were normal with no abnormal masses or spots. The urethra was normal. Everything was normal. She then had her partner stimulate her by inserting two fingers into the vagina and stroking along the urethra lengthwise. To our amazement, the area began to swell. It eventually became a firm one by two cm oval area distinctly different from the rest of the vagina. In a few moments the subject seemed to perform a Valsalva maneuver (bearing down as if starting to defecate) and seconds later several cc's of milky fluid shot out the urethra. The material analysis described in the paper (Perry & Whipple's) is correct, its composition was closest to prostatic fluid".
Fluid Characteristics
   The ejaculate is very much like prostrate fluid. It is usually clear, or milky and as thin as water. It does not have the look, smell or taste of urine. It is almost odorless. The taste varies, depending on the time of the month and diet, and possibly other factors, such as amount of stimulation received prior to ejaculating or time since the last ejaculation. It can vary from an almost honey sweet, sour, bitter, or a combination of these tastes.
Even though it is ejaculated from the urethra, it is most definitely not urine. It is absolutely impossible to pee during a orgasm unless there is a weak pubococcygeus muscle. This is very important, and it is important for the female and her partner to both understand this. The pubococcygeus muscle contracts when terminating a stream of urine, and is the muscle which contracts during orgasm. This contraction helps prevent retrograde ejaculation (ejaculation back into the bladder), and of course prevents the bladder from draining during orgasm.

Problems Women have Ejaculating
I think there are two major problems women face that prevents them from the immensely enjoyable experience of ejaculation. They are the female's mental attitude, and their partners inability or unwillingness to spend the time and effort during lovemaking and to learn the necessary techniques. We will address both of these problems and the solutions here.
   The ejaculation is done through the urethra. This is the same tube that is used for urination. It is located outside the vagina, between it and the clitoris. The fluid is water like, and non- lubricating. In no way does ejaculation improve the chances of conceiving, it offers no lubrication, and is dumped outside of the vagina. The only conceivable purpose of female ejaculation is for pleasure. And the pleasure is intense, in many cases far surpassing the best orgasm's. Often ejaculation takes place during both a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm (yes there are two type of orgasms, clitoral and vaginal, but often orgasm is a combination of the two), giving the female extreme pleasure, sort of a triple whammy. Sometimes after ejaculation the female will virtually pass out from the intense feelings.
   It can be argued that since the only reason that females can and do ejaculate is for pleasure, then there should be no reason for them to not do so, and as often as they please. It is one of the safer sex acts, since in most cases it can be triggered with fingers alone. Ejaculating from intercourse is more difficult, especially when performed from the missionary position, but still possible.

Preparation Recommendations for the Woman's Partner
Wash hands well. Trim fingernails. Make sure that the thumb, and first two finger nails do not extend past the fingertips. Trimming them as far back as possible would be best. Make sure that there is no dirt or crud under the fingernails.
   Place a towel on the bed. A surprising amount of fluid can be released during female ejaculation. Compared to a male it can be like a water cannon instead of a water pistol.
   Have some K&Y Jelly handy. At some point additional lubrication may be necessary, even if she is having heavy orgasms and climaxes.
   Set aside enough time. The first successful ejaculation may take from 10 minutes to over an hour.
   It may be wise to exercise your hands, fingers, and arm for several days prior to this exercise. The motions necessary can become quite tiring after a while if you are not in good physical shape.
   Before beginning the first time, discuss it. Let her know that you are striving to give her an ejaculation. That female ejaculation is perfectly normal, and a wonderful experience for both of you. Convince her that there is nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. Explain that just prior to ejaculation, she most likely will feel like she is about to pee. This is a difficult point for many women, as they will immediately draw back. Convince her that it is normally impossible to pee during an orgasm, and that the feeling is simply the first sign she is about to ejaculate.
   Since the movement of the fluid through the urethra will initially feel exactly like when she starts to pee, this is very important. The reflex to stop peeing will immediately abort the ejaculation, so she needs to be told to relax, and allow the fluid to pass. In other words when she feels like she is about to pee, she should go ahead and pee. Only it really won't be pee, it will be an ejaculation, and within a couple of seconds it will be very obvious to her that this is something quite different. Once she knows the feeling, she will be able to push it out once it starts, with astounding results. It is best for the partner to be sitting between her legs at this time, else she may overshoot the towel or even wet the far wall.
   Once she has ejaculated, rejoice with her. Don't make fun, or a joke. If you do it may be the last time she will be able to ejaculate, at least in your presence. Unlike a man, this is not the end. You can continue, and she may well have multiple orgasms and ejaculations with further stimulation.

Technique
Start slow. Use typical foreplay. You may want to start with her on her back. Stimulate the clitoris. This can be done with a moist finger, or with your tongue. Performing cunnilingus while rubbing her breasts with your hands can be quite stimulating for her. At any rate, continue clitoral stimulation until she is lubricated. At this point slide two fingers into her vagina. Allow them to move along the front wall of the vagina. You should encounter an area about 2 inches in, which should be somewhat enlarged. This is the G spot. It lies directly along the urethra, and is located almost directly behind the clitoris. Slowly stroke this area. It should start becoming more enlarged.
   Ejaculation is almost always triggered by stimulating the G spot. Clitoral stimulation can often assist in helping her reach an ejaculation, and also can make it more intense. But stimulating the G spot is usually necessary at least initially. Once she starts ejaculating easily, she may find that clitoral stimulation alone is sufficient.
Stroking can be done a number of ways. The two fingers can rub the area as a unit, or they can take opposite strides, similar to walking. A third method involved sliding the two finders out a fraction of an inch, and pushing them back in, similar to the in- out motion of intercourse, but with smaller strokes. Initially pace the stimulation somewhat slow. Alternate with clitoral stimulation either with the thumb, other hand, or mouth/tongue. Also try simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris and G spot. Watch her reactions.
   Simultaneous may be too intense for some but necessary for ejaculation for others. Take your cues from her. When she starts bearing down, and you feel the vagina contract, begin pumping rapidly. When she is in the middle of an orgasm, stimulate the clitoris at the same time, and pump the G spot gently, but very rapidly. Talk to her. Say, "your getting it, go for it, don't worry, relax and let it come" or other similar words. She may need reassurance that if she drenches you, you will not be upset. Tell her how erotic you find it for her to ejaculate. Make her comfortable with both you, and the idea of ejaculation.
   This actually is not the best position. If she does not succeed after a short time, have her roll over on her stomach, and get up on her knees. You will find stimulating the G spot much easier in this position, and she will most likely respond much better. With the two fingers turned down, slide your two fingers back into her vagina. Find the G spot and continue stimulating the G spot. You may use the other hand to stimulate the clitoris. If after a couple of orgasms, using rapid pumping on the G spot during orgasm, she still has not ejaculated, then turn the hand around, putting the thumb into the vagina.
   The thumb will likely not reach the G spot, but don't worry, it should come up to meet the thumb during orgasm. Take the two fingers and lay them down on the clit. Allow the entire curve between the thumb and forefinger to lie along her from the vagina to her clitoris, and begin pumping with the thumb, and rubbing the clit at the same time. When she starts an orgasm, start pumping the entire hand rapidly. At this point she will most likely ejaculate. The trick is to massage the area where the urethra comes out, while stimulating the clitoris and G spot. This will help to override the feeling she is about to pee, and allow her to let it pass.
   Be aware that the female is not only capable of multiple orgasms, but also multiple ejaculations. It is not unusual for her to have from 3 to 5 ejaculations before depleting her supply of cum. Once she has ejaculated one or more times, you can continue with intercourse. Entering from behind will stimulate the G-spot more easily than missionary style, and often additional ejaculations will occur during intercourse. Even if they don't, she will be highly excited, and very sensitive. The final result will most likely be the most intense and pleasurable sex she has ever had.

I highly recommend "The G Spot" for further reading.
Footnotes: 1) Regnier de Graal, "New Treatise Concerning the Generative Organs of Women", p. 107 2) Alice Kahn Ladas,
        Beverly Whipple and John D. Perry, "The G Spot" page 59. Dell Publishing 1982.
This article was supplied by the Society for Human Sexuality Please visit their site.
Copyright 1998 Society for Human Sexuality. All rights reserved


Debbie Fox on Female Ejaculation
|This article was "rescued" from a geo-cities site that no longer exists. Unfortunately the graphics and many of the links are now defunct as well.

Female Ejaculation
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Perhaps the best and most accurate source of information on the biology of Female Ejaculation and the G-Crest can be found at the website of Gary Schubach, Ed. D. He has done research on the nature of female ejaculation.

   Before discussing female ejaculation and the G-Spot/Crest, I feel I should address female body fluids in general. Our society views any form of liquid that exits the female body with great disdain. Women are not permitted to openly perform most normal bodily functions, it is not seen as being feminine.

   Women are expected to maintain a dry pristine appearance, regardless of their current physical activity. Mothers use to tell their daughters it was not wise to engage in sports as boys would see them sweaty and disheveled. Even today, deodorant and antiperspirant ads drive home the idea, "Do not let them see you sweat." Women are told they need special deodorants, made just for them. Most women would prefer to have their fingernails ripped out one by one than be seen having an "accident", that is, menstruating in public. I gather some girls and women even come to dislike the idea of urinating in a public restroom, holding their urine all day until they get home. Are they perhaps afraid to be seen urinating by others?

   Even female sexuality is marred by these unwritten laws. It is hard to relax and enjoy sex if you are worried about sweating heavily or producing a lot of vaginal lubrication. Though a woman may desire sex the most during her menstrual period, she may not engage in sex then because she fears she will make a mess of things. Social mores about female body fluids can put a big damper on female sexuality and pleasure.

   Sweaty men are seen as sexual, virile. Their manhood is measured in their ability to produce large quantities of semen. They draw their name in the snow using their urine and see who can ejaculate the furthest. Men making a mess with their ejaculate is seen as unavoidable, normal, and is never questioned. Men can ejaculate on the face, in the mouth, and on and in the body of their partner, and it is seen as normal. If a woman gets her body fluids on her partner, that is another story, she has made a dirty mess, an interesting double standard. If a man can cover his partner with his body fluids, a woman should have the same privilege.

   Before a woman can learn to ejaculate, enjoy ejaculating, or enjoy sex in general, she must accept her bodily fluids as normal. She must not question the nature or quantity of her wetness, be it sweat, vaginal lubrication, menses, ejaculate, or urine. A woman cannot allow herself to ejaculate and experience potentially earth-shattering orgasms if she cannot let go when the pressure or urge to ejaculate arises. So ladies, give yourself permission to get wet and messy.

   The main motivation behind the studies into female ejaculation appears to be the determination of whether or not the fluid expelled is urine. If a woman ejaculates a non-urine liquid, like a man, it is normal and she cannot help it. If it is urine, she has a medical problem. Authors who write about the G-Spot strive to persuade their readers that female ejaculate is not urine. Why this great importance over the exact nature of this fluid squirting from women's bodies? Does it really matter whether it is urine or ejaculate? If a woman gets a thrill out of squirting urine at the moment of orgasm, are we to say she has a problem? Do we mean to take this pleasure away from her? I say, if a woman squirts urine at the moment of orgasm, let her, if she ejaculates uncontrollably, so be it.

   Personal opinion aside, is a woman urinating or ejaculating? This is a question that you cannot answer outside a medical lab. I can think of no way of being able to tell if a woman is voluntarily squirting urine, experiencing incontinence, or ejaculating at the moment of orgasm. All these fluids exit through the urethra, so the visible source is the same for them all. I'm not aware of any color, taste, or scent test that can be applied to the expelled liquid that will distinguish them from one another. So we are left with no other choice than to see them as indistinguishable, the same.

   If you read the article mentioned at the top of this page, the majority of the fluid ejaculated comes from the bladder, but it is not quite normal urine. There is also a small amount of true ejaculate that is produced by the paraurethral glands surrounding urethra. In this study, the women's bladders had just been emptied prior to orgasm. If they had had a full bladder, would not the volume and consistency of the ejaculation likely change? Perhaps becoming a greater percentage of urine? It seems likely that the average female ejaculation is mainly made up of liquid from the bladder, a mixture of urine and other natural body fluids produced during sexual arousal and orgasm. Even women who truly ejaculate, produce very little ejaculate, the glands that produce it are small, and it is likely to be overwhelmed by the volume of fluid from the bladder.

   Women who expel fluid during orgasm report the color, smell, consistency, and even taste, varies from one occurrence to the next. (It is safe for a person to taste their own ejaculate, and for couples who already exchange body fluids, but not for couples needing to practice safe sex.) Some have found their menstrual cycle influences the type of fluid expelled. What you eat is likely to have an effect on it, as will how much liquid you have consumed. Some women report that it is sometimes clear and odorless, other times thick and pungent. Others report that it sometimes looks and smells like urine. It is safe to say, most women's ejaculate will vary with time, even during a single sexual episode.

   The next question for debate concerns whether or not 'all' women have a G-Spot, or G-Crest and subsequently can ejaculate. This is not really a valid question. The 'G-Spot', only indicates the 'sensitivity' of a non-specific area of tissue. The 'G-Crest' only defines the swollen 'condition' of the paraurethral glands during sexual arousal. There are no anatomical structures with these names. This is in part why people have trouble finding them.

   What people should ask is, "Do all women have paraurethral glands?" The answer to this question is, yes. All women have a rudimentary structure at the base of their bladder and along their urethra that would have developed into a prostate gland if their genetic code had indicated male, not female. This female prostate is functional in some, if not all women. I would guess it is functional in all women even if they do not ejaculate.

   The female paraurethral glands, female prostate gland, surround the female urethra, and empty into the urethra through many small ducts. 'Paraurethral' simply means 'around the urethra'. There are illustrations that show these glands in the anatomy section. They are also called 'Skene's Glands' and 'Urethral Sponge'. The paraurethral glands swell up and protrude into the vagina during sexual arousal, hence Mr. Schubach's, adaptation of the term, "G-Crest". It is these glans that people need to locate and stimulate.

   Some describes the paraurethral glands as being part of the clitoris, as they swell and become engorged with blood during sexual arousal. Any anatomical structure in the female that would have comprised some part of the penis had they been male, might very well be considered as part of the clitoris, as they are all somehow directly connected together via nerves and blood supply..

   So how does one locate these paraurethral glands? Quite simply, you locate the urethra. The urethral opening is located directly above the vaginal opening, below the clitoris. You can see it with your bare eyes. The urethra extends back from the urethral opening, urethral meatus, into the body, along the front or upper wall of the vagina for 1.5 to 2 inches. While you can see the urethral opening, you cannot see the paraurethral glands themselves. Using a speculum, you might be able to see the swollen paraurethral glands projecting into the vagina through the vaginal wall. The below mentioned video does show this view. Adventures people may want to slip a finger or two into their own, or their partner's, vagina while they urinate so they can actually feel the urine pass through the urethra. This will help you locate its exact position. Once you have located the urethra, you have a bases for seeking out a possible area along it that is highly sensitive to stimulation, a G-Spot.

   Defining the 'G-Spot' is not a simple task. Most people would simply say it is an area of high sensitivity located within the paraurethral structures. The problem with this definition is, the sensitivity of this area is not likely to be constant. If a woman is not sexually aroused, she may not have a 'G-Spot'. If the same woman is highly aroused and her paraurethral glands are engorged with blood, she may have a very distinct 'G-Spot'. Another woman may not have a 'G-Spot' until she is on the verge of orgasm. There are perhaps women who are not aware of a 'G-Spot, yet ejaculate and experience a more intense orgasm if their paraurethral glands are stimulated. It is important for people not to form a concrete definition of a 'G-Spot'. Each woman will create her own definition, one valid only for her.

   As I mentioned above, some people describe the paraurethral glands as being part of the clitoris. Even if this is not true, the clitoris probably holds the key to female ejaculation for most women. If the clitoris is not stimulated a woman is less likely to become highly aroused. If she is not highly aroused, her paraurethral glands will not fill with blood. If her paraurethral glands are not swollen she may not have a G-Spot. If her clitoris is not stimulated she is less likely to reach orgasm, preventing the rhythmic contractions of the pelvic muscles that expel and release the ejaculate. So quite simply, before you can go exploring for the G-Spot, you must master clitoral stimulation beforehand. Some women are orgasmic and ejaculate when their G-Spot/vagina alone is stimulated, this ability is likely to be discovered accidentally versus intentionally.

   So now that you have an idea as to the location of the G-Spot, how do you stimulate it? The most versatile tools to use are your fingers. They are firm but flexible. They have feeling and give you feedback. For the solo explorer though, fingers can be a problem. They just are not very long. Plus, if one hand is stimulating your clitoris, it limits access to your vagina with your other hand. So in addition to fingers, dildos and/or vibrators are usually required for finding and stimulating the G-Spot. (I will refer to both vibrators and dildos as dildos for the sake of convenience) Notice I used the plural 'dildos', not the singular 'dildo'. There is a considerable chance that you may have to try many different dildos to find the right one.

   How do you pick out a dildo for G-Spot stimulation? Trial and error. The dildos that do have a good success rate are those that are curved near the tip, called G-Spot stimulators, and penis shaped dildos with a prominent ridge at the junction of the glans and shaft. Some women find hard plastic dildos work best, others, soft flexible ones. Some find that makeshift dildos work great, cucumbers, brush handles, mirror handles, etc. Some women prefer slim dildos that they can direct at a specific point within their vagina, others prefer their vagina to be filled and stretched to the maximum. So if you are going to buy a dildo to use for G-Spot stimulation, be prepared to buy and try many. Any woman who is considering using dildos seriously needs to be aware that she will most likely have a collection of favorites, versus one special one. As women's moods change, so do their dildo needs. While women often start out with one, many soon find they have a drawer full of them. Some women prize their collections.

   To pee or not to pee? Since the physical act of female urination is so similar to female ejaculation, many women have found erotic enjoyment in urinating during sex, solo and with a partner. Women seeking to learn to ejaculate may find themselves squirting urine versus actually ejaculating, not being able to tell them apart. This is because both urination and ejaculation require a woman to be able to let go and relax her bladder sphincter and her pelvic muscles. If you keep your bladder sphincter closed and tighten your pelvic muscles, you cannot urinate or ejaculate. Women seeking to ejaculate are advised to push out when the urge to urinate or ejaculate comes over them at the point of orgasm. Doing this gives your body permission to ejaculate, but it also gives your body permission to urinate. You have no control over which occurs. You will just be aware of the physical sensations that occur. The sensations of both may be pleasant and indistinguishable. Hence learning to urinate intentionally at the point of orgasm may help a woman learn to ejaculate.

   Learning to be able to urinate at the point of orgasm is likely to be easier done alone than with a partner. You will probably find it easier to relax, and you wont be as concerned about the resulting wetness. Doing this in the tub has some advantages, one you do not have to worry about the wetness, soaking in warm water will help relax you, and cleanup is a snap. Drink a couple glasses of water a short while before starting, allow your bladder to fill. It does not need to feel full, just not empty. Lie back in the tub, or lay on several towels on your bed. Start to masturbate. Caress your clitoris. Slipping your fingers or a dildo into your vagina may feel nice. You do not need to necessarily move them back and forth inside your vagina. Allow the sexual buildup to occur slowly. Practice tightening and relaxing your pelvic muscles, commonly called Kegel exercises.

   Think about the act of urinating, of letting go. Allowing your bladder to fill will result in you feeling the need to urinate. The closer you are to the point of orgasm, the stronger the urge to urinate is likely to become. Hold back on your orgasm until you feel you cannot hold your urine a second longer. At the point of orgasm press out and relax your pelvic muscles, welcome the feeling of the urine escaping from your bladder. The stronger the force behind the urine, the greater the sensations are likely to be. So push and try to squirt your urine. It takes practice to be able to let go spontaneously, since you have been conditioned to maintain strict control over your urination habits. It may also help to vocalize the release, make some noise. Intentionally crying out will help with the release.

   Moving on to ejaculation only requires a couple slight changes in technique. You want to empty your bladder first. You want to let go without a full bladder producing the pressure or urge. The urge should still develop, just not be driven by a full bladder. The urge to ejaculate may not occur without there being stimulation of your paraurethral glands. This is likely to require the use of a dildo if you are alone. As you massage your clitoris, using your fingers or a dildo massage your urethra by massaging the top of your vagina. Using only light pressure at first. Massage the full length of your urethra, from the opening of your vagina back into your vagina a couple inches. Keep up the clitoral massage. Try different pressures and strokes on your urethra. Massaging the urethral opening may feel pleasant as well. Massaging your urethra may make you feel the need to urinate, this is desired. Do not fight it, go with the flow, literally.

   If you find a spot that is highly sensitive, you may want to concentrate solely on it, but you may find it is to sensitive to directly stimulate. If your G-Spot is highly sensitive, you may find you are only able to tolerate its stimulation when you are very close to orgasm, when your pain threshold has increased. Keep massaging your clitoris and urethra. Continue to the point of orgasm. A slow build up, with lots of teasing, may help produce the greatest urge and strongest orgasm. When orgasm occurs, relax your bladder and press out as if urinating. If you ejaculate you will likely feel a new and strong sensation, if not, you will still experience a strong orgasm, so nothing is lost. You may not be aware of any increased wetness until after the orgasm has subsided. Being able to ejaculate may take practice, even if you are able to squirt urine during orgasm. It is not known whether all women can ejaculate, so you just have to experiment. In any event it should be pleasurable.

   A woman's partner can bring her to an orgasm that includes ejaculation. If a woman already knows she is capable of ejaculating, she should let her partner know, not pray that it wont happen again. She should discuss the increased wetness that occurs with her partner, at least prepare them for it. Hopefully they will see your ejaculations as erotic. If they do not, reeducating them about female fluids and ejaculation may persuade them to at least accept the ejaculations as normal even if they do not like the associated wetness.

   There is perhaps one big advantage to having a partner stimulate you to orgasm when you are trying to ejaculate, they wont stop the stimulation unless you tell them to. If you are masturbating and you start to feel uncomfortable, out of control, you will likely stop immediately. This could prevent you from experiencing orgasm and ejaculation. With a partner you can agree beforehand that they will not stop, even if you say, "stop". (Doing this requires using a "safe word" that indicates "stop" for real. This is a word you are not likely to say accidentally during sex, without thinking about it.) If you find you pull away, you can ask that they hold or follow you so you cannot move away from the stimulation. Of course you should only do these things if you really trust your partner, they need to be forceful without going to far.

   How do you stimulate your partner's paraurethral glands? Your hands provide excellent tools to use. The best way to stimulate the inside of their vagina, along the upper wall, is to create a hook with your index finger. Imagine you want to signal to someone standing across the room that you want them to come toward you, you turn your hand palm up and signal with your index finger by making a hook, curling it up and straightening it repeatedly. You can do the same thing with one or two finger inside the vagina. Massaging the upper wall of the vagina, from the opening back two inches. Start out with a very light touch. Press your fingers up and toward the front, pointing toward the pubic bone, or clitoris. Use the urethral opening as a guide.

   Start out by getting her aroused with manual and/or oral clitoral stimulation. Continue the clitoral stimulation as you massage her urethral glands. Ask your partner if there is a specific spot or area that produces intense or enjoyable sensations when you massage it, her G-Spot. As you sense her getting closer to orgasm, apply a firmer touch, if she enjoys it. Maintain a constant and steady rhythm. Follow through, continue the massage up through her orgasm. Then switch to a very light caressing touch as she comes down from her orgasm. If she experiences multiple orgasms her orgasms and ejaculations may become more intense, and the amount of ejaculation may increase, the more orgasms she has. If she orgasms with your fingers inside her vagina, her vaginal muscles may squeeze them very tightly, do not pull out.

   You can also stimulate your partner to ejaculation using a dildo. This takes more verbal communication as you cannot feel exactly what the dildo is doing. She needs to let you know what feels good, or bad. Some women may like for the tip of the vibrator to be pointed at their urethra, others may prefer a full feeling. The stretching and pressure created by large dildos or an entire hand may stimulate the urethra enough to cause an ejaculation, even if that is not the intent.

   A woman may also ejaculate during intercourse, with a penis or a dildo in a harness. What seems to work are positions that result in the penis or dildo stimulating the upper wall of the vagina. Like when a woman's partner kneels between her knees or when she is on top controlling the direction and force of the thrusting. Some women may ejaculate during intercourse without even trying, others may find it a challenge. It is more likely if she already ejaculates frequently during manual massage. Practice makes perfect.

   Unfortunately there can be some negative side affects to massaging the urethra. The urethra is highly sensitive and is easily irritated. Even normal intercourse can irritate a woman's urethra, resulting in painful urination and infection. This is especially true of virgins and women with tense pelvic muscles as they are too tight, resulting in there being to much friction between their vagina and the thrusting penis or dildo. So intentionally stimulating the urethra increases the chances of there being irritation and infection. To help prevent infections and reduce the chances of irritation, a woman should, drinks lots of water, and urinate just before and right after urethral stimulation, or sex in general if you are prone to urinary tract infections. Just release a little bit of urine before sex if you are trying things with a full bladder. They also recommend women drink cranberry juice as its acidic level helps to ward off the bacteria that cause infections. If you experience irritation, painful urination, or infection, try using less pressure when massaging or stimulating the urethra. The urethra may become accustomed to the stimulation with time, but do not torture yourself, or inflict multiple infections. Have fun, but do not hurt yourself.

   Dealing with the wetness. If you ejaculate there may be just a little liquid expelled, or there could be a lot of liquid expelled. If you are intentionally squirting urine or ejaculate repeatedly, there may be a liquid everywhere. Since you usually sleep where you have sex, ejaculations can present a problem. If you only ejaculate a little, simply keeping a couple towels near the bed may fix the problem. If you gush, then towels may not be enough. Having a plastic cover on the mattress and extra sheets may do the trick, though changing the sheets and cleaning up may not be the way you want to relax after sex. You can buy the bed pads hospitals use, just say you are caring for a sick child or parent, as they are absorbent and have a plastic backing. You can try having sex in the tub or shower. Have a second bed or an air mattress to have sex on. For women who ejaculate every time, regardless of whether they want to, cleanup can be bothersome at times, and does take some getting use to. Just try to keep a positive attitude and be prepared with extra towels and sheets. A supportive partner always helps.

   I hate to be the barer of bad news, but the chances are, the women seen ejaculating in adult movies are most likely urinating, not ejaculating. They are intentionally squirting urine to simulate orgasm and true female ejaculation. The proof of this is the shear volume they expel. True ejaculation is almost impossible to capture on film, it is over in a blink of an eye. Even in a video produced by women, titled 'How to Female Ejaculate', features one woman who, while appearing to be having real orgasms, is obviously squirting urine, lots of urine, not just ejaculating. She does enjoy herself immensely though, so it is entertaining to watch. When I mentioned I thought this girl was urinating, not ejaculating to the star and producer of this video, she did not deny it. The other women in the video do appear to actually ejaculate, and I highly recommend it to those who want to learn how or to just see female ejaculation. Enjoy mainstream ejaculation videos, but keep in the back of your mind that it is all fantasy. The above video is available from Good Vibrations.

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Female Ejaculation Links

Ivory Hope's Pages
"Throughout time there have been reports of the expulsion of fluid from the vagina by women during sexual arousal and/or orgasm. There were references to this by historic scientific figures such as Aristotle and Galen..."

Anne's female ejaculation pages |
"Back in the 1800’s, if a woman was feeling horny, her husband would take her to the doctor so that he (yes, all doctors were men in those days) could treat what was in those days diagnosed as “hysterical tension”...

DR G'S G-SPOT & Female Ejaculation Site |
Other benefits of a public recognition of female ejaculation as a natural event (and the so-called G spot as an erogenous zone, capable of producing orgasm in a woman) could be the creation of additional sexual activities that might not just be a prelude to intercourse but an end unto themselves. It could lead to a broadening of peoples' sensual experiences and their sexual repertoire. New pleasurable behaviors, with no goal other than pleasure from those activities, could be learned with the added benefits that they have very low risk in terms of AIDS, STDs and unwanted pregnancy.  

Dr. Schubach's Bibliography |
"The following bibliography has been compiled and submitted by Dr. Gary Schubach (doctorg@slip.net) in preparation for a research project at the Institute for Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality in San Francisco, CA, USA

Liberated Christians |
"One major impediment to intimacy between men and women is the speed with which many men become aroused and reach orgasm as opposed to the slower, more leisurely lovemaking women need if they are to have a similar experience. The true lover however will take the time to allow a woman to reach her full sexual pleasure potential...

Action Love Dr. Lin |
The crystal clear discharge is the vaginal female ejaculation due to a powerful orgasm contraction against the Skene's glands between the bladder and vagina/uterus. We have always experienced this type of female ejaculation with the 3-point (or 4-point) excitation method...

 

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