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by Nirate | Debbie
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Malo's
Notes on Female Ejaculation
My
Discovery | Thoughts
about Orgasms | Female
Creaming
Female Squirting |
About Inhibitions |
Exploring
Finding good information about this topic, is often like
hitting a moving target. Almost as soon as a good resource
is posted it seems to disappear. I will share here what
my personal observations and thoughts are, as well as
a variety of links and pieces of data and discussion I
have "duplicated" lest they evaporate. I include
the original link in each instance.

My
Own Discovery
My fascination with this phenomenon of female arousal,
was first initiated with a porno video many years ago.
Here
are two visual examples of such material. Not until my
Leather phase, did I discover (in the bathroom at a play
party with a girl on her knees like a dog) how much fluid
a woman aroused, might be able to produce. I was three
fingers into her and she began overflowing with her juices.
It was warm and wonderful, pumping with each contraction
of her sex, no odor or sense of pee, and I was amazed
and rather proud of myself. Being Domly of course I acted
as if that was what I expected. But I was in a state of
wonderment and bliss.
Not long after that, in a private session in my own dungeon,
I was working with a woman who was new to scene and after
a good session on the chain where I was able to get her
to experience the euphoria of sub space (endorphin high)
I slipped on my non latex gloves and without the need
for lube, began manual stimulation and insertion at her
vagina. This woman flowed endlessly for well over five
minutes totally drenching the dungeon bedding area. This
woman had considerable sexual experience and yet, confessed
later she had never had such a cum before. It left her
in an elevated and totally satiated state for several
days. Needless to say, my Dom ego was in it's own headspace
for having achieved such a good session with a new person.
Fast forward 6 months, and I am now working with a woman
who I can actually get my sizable hand fully into. Massaging
the G-spot and working her firmly, this woman begins spraying,
without exaggeration, several feet like a garden hose.
Suffice it to say that became a favorite scene of mine
to recreate.
Since that time, I've read a lot and worked with many
women to understand this phenomenon completely. I now
enjoy teaching women to explore this "space"
for themselves and even have success working with some
subjects by phone.
Thoughts
about Orgasms
At this point, allow me to make a few observations. The
nature of orgasm and / or ejaculation both male or female,
is a very individual experience. Most individuals regardless
of gender will agree, many orgasms are powerful, some
are just warm meltings, some at the moment, feel like
the most incredible event in the history of the planet,
and some are just frankly not worth opening your waistband
for.
So even before we speak about the differences between
people, we need to acknowledge that a variety of factors
affect our ability to cum and the intensity od climax.
Diet, health, hormonal cycles (even with men), mental
acuteness or distraction, sourceof stimulation, length
and type of stimulation or foreplay, length of time since
the last sexual session, core moral constitution, and
trust with your partner (assuming you are not working
alone) are all variables. Did I miss any? I am sure I
did.
The two points so far,
A. All orgasms or sexual climaxes are unique experiences.
B. At any given time we may respond to the same stimulation
in a variety of ways and intensities.
and the third point is probably the most important one,
as you explore this,
Everyone is different.
That is a glorious thing on it's own! Let me explain
a bit further. Among men, penis size is often the measure
of manliness. Yet some women would not want a huge fellow
attempting the square peg in the round hole trick. Similarly
the guy endowed with what is sometimes cruelly called
a pencil dick, might have some wonderful moves and compensate
to please His partner completely in other ways. With the
right partner, sex can still be an awesome event. I myself
am average in size and unlike many men I am not multi
orgasmic but I love cunnilingus, so my foreplay can last
quite some time and even after I climax, I am often likely
to go after more cums from my partner in any variety of
ways. My favorite partner is one who can endure and appreciate
extended stimulation and repeated orgasms even if I am
not "up" physically to recycle and perform repeatedly
or instantly. We all find our way with regards to our
sex.
Female
Creaming
Some women wet at a whisper, some women need help with
vaginal lubrication. Feminine wetness per se, should NOT
be considered the only measure of sexuality or arousal.
It can often be an indicator, and is arousing for a partner
to discover or enjoy, but it is only one factor. Breathing,
nipple state, coloring, involuntary hip motions, sounds,
and verbal communication are all ways to communicate or
read sexual arousal.
With all the above noted, I'll venture to state, I firmly
believe that every woman can discover a more elevated
level of moisture if not total ejaculation or spraying
than they have previously known, assuming they have not
previously discovered this aspect of their sexuality.
As I can see, there are two primary types of feminine
fluid. One emanates from within the vagina. Vaginal lubrication
tends to be either a thick whitish cream or a clear slippery
wetness depending upon the individual and their place
in their hormonal cycle. This fluid seems to serve several
proposes one is to maintain a proper "flora",
cleaning the vaginal cavity and when stimulated sexually
providing lubrication for insertion. Just as we salivate
when we anticipate something tasty.. (Think of a lemon
drop or an orange slice and see how your mouth "wets"
in anticipation of the sensation).. so does the vagina
prepare when sexual stimulation or thoughts are evident.
When some women climax, the amount of such "cream"
can be anything from a heightened flow to a down right
"pouring" from the vagina. This is because part
of the male female sexual response is tied to temperature.
As the woman becomes "hotter" the man swells
more fully and visa versa. The sex organs are doing a
dance of their own. The man's swelling signals the woman
that the male ejaculation is imminent. The deeper thrusting
hits nerve endings located deeper inside the vaginal cavity
which then triggers the woman to create a heavier "flow"
to allow (in theory) a better fluid base for the sperm
to flow and hit their mark.. The heat of this fluid signals
the male to release. Sadly, quite often this happens far
sooner then woman might enjoy. (Especially if you are
not the type of male who can "recycle" quickly)
If your partner tends to thank you and roll over to sleep,
you may find yourself wired and ready to scrub the kitchen
for all the excess stimulation left over.
The man (or partner, in the case of same sex lovers)
who goes after, or pushes deep for more orgasms from the
woman may well discover an untapped wealth of sexual ecstasy,
and consequently more fluid. A combination of clitoral
and deep vaginal probing ( careful: there some"Owie"
places in there too; learn your partner) can totally enhance
your sexual explorations.
At one end of the spectrum I am enjoying teaching a woman
to " dribble" on verbal command without any
physical stimulation. At the other end..if you are not
able to lubricate there's no need for alarm. Biological
conditions, post menopause, diet, and general constitution
are all components of this. Find a favorite lubricant
and enjoy all the sex you want.
Female
Squirting
Now to the "squirting". I've included a ton
of writing and other links about what this is and where
it comes from and I can conclusively say.. No one seems
to have it all figured out. One of the great mysteries
of life.
Some theorists will have you believing that the right
stimulation of the "G-spot" or "G- Crest"
will get a woman to this " ejaculation" state.
Frankly many women can do this in their own privacy with
just clitoral stimulation. For some women however internal
stimulation is the key. One woman confessed she never
came like this until she "rode" a Symbian or
motorized fuck toy.
I'll offer a few additional observations. In my experience
this phenomenon is most often generated with manual stimulation
in an environment of deep trust, and when an altered state
of eroticism euphoria, endorphin high or spiritual transformation
are achieved. The female ejaculation seems to require
a very primal state of being. It is a very physical, animal
level with virtually no inhibitions left. In fact it is
this stripping away of inhibition that makes the experience
such a powerful one.
Inhibitions
To get there we must understand why this has such a mystique.
Victorian era mores taught civilized society that females
were not to enjoy sex. Even to day in some Master / slave
relationship models, often one partner's pleasure is the
only goal of a sex act. Think of how women are programmed
about bodily functions in "polite" society.
Women have to "hold" their gas, are made to
feel that their period may be a "dirty" time
and their privates should be the source of immense modesty
and even shame. In an environment where the male is seeking
to spray his seed or find his own pleasure, even the elevated
woman who has discovered her clit or her ability to orgasm
may not give herself permission to do much more. I don't
mean to sound sexist and I know, there are many many women
who enjoy totally unbridled sex, but I am speaking of
obstacles to getting there for others, and this is one
of them.
"Making a mess, isn't lady like. " "Sometimes
I feel like I am going to pee.. gawd wouldn't that be
awful?" " I don't like internal stimulation."
"I'm shy with my lover". There are so many things
that loan themselves to sexual inhibition.

Exploring
Gratefully a good partner or a D/s relationship can cut
through much of that. Spread a lot of towels and a plastic
drop cloth...and tell your woman you want her to explore
a total release this day. The submissive who wants to
please the Dominant will begin to work mentally on "giving
over" her body to the Dominant's wishes. Making a
mess is the goal. Letting your body " go" is
part of the journey.
After your normal scene or foreplay, when you have the
woman aroused or flying in endorphin space, try placing
her on "all fours" in an animal position, or
over a spanking bench. If she is into bondage, bind her.
( Many submissives can only get deep if they feel it wasn't
their "fault", the bondage often adds to this
"freedom") If she isn't into bondage or doesn't;t
know.. Move slowly in that direction. This may not be
the time to add that dimension or it might just trip the
trigger. Bondage isn't a requirement here.

click pic to enlarge
If the woman can enjoy orasgm at external stimulation,
such as clitoral or nipple play do so first. Be sure your
fingernails are very trim and smooth. put on a glove if
you prefer use a lubricant even if you don't think you
need one...and enter her gently. Work her a bit and encourage
her to move against your hand as well. Probe the girl
deeply hitting the back wall of her vagina just above
(below in the inverted animal position) the cervix. triggering
the deep penetration areas. This need not be a deep thrusting
at this point. Nor does it need to be more than one or
two fingers. Work the tip of the cervix a bit. Then down
( again" up" in the animal position) toward
the anal canal and bowel area. Each "zone" will
bring the woman different sensations. Learn where she
feels good sensations and where she may feel a pain that
isn't pleasurable. Map these in your mind as you work,
Learn your partner.
Now curl your fingers down just behind the pubic bone.
I like to say this is the spongy place just behind the
clitoris. If your thumb is on her clitoris it will be
much like the grip you have on a six pack of canned drinks.
GENTLY massage that "spongy" area or G-Crest.
For some women it will be a dead center sensation for
some it will be actually up ON the pubic bone and vaginal
entrance. Many women report it is off center to the right
(as they are face up). where ever you locate it, she will
feel as if she needs to pee... ( even if she has already
emptied her bladder). Remind her there are towels and
you WANT her to make a mess. What you are doing is stimulating
glands around her urethra and bladder so the sensation
of course FEELS like a pee signal. This is the point the
woman would benefit to get beyond. Elements that can be
brought in at this point include dirty talk, growling
and even biting. Reaching an animal state is vital here.
I have found that it isn;t just massaging or wringing
out the "g-spot" that is important. (A milking
action towards the urethra helps as the energy grows....)
But a growling and even biting her might trigger the primal
state. With some partners I require they bark or growl
themselves. Adding more fingers creates a " stretching"
of sorts on the vaginal lips which is also a vital trigger.
You don't want to generate serious pain in this action
but certainly create a sensation that the woman is being
used and taken no matter what.
I honestly believe a woman sprays in response to being
taken or used and is in a sense "marking" her
mate in a very animal response.
Don't expect Niagara Falls the first time. But also don't
be surprised or shocked if it comes....and comes. Encouraging
words count here. If you freeze or balk you can create
more obstacles then when you started. Keep working. With
short breaks you can wring a cooperative woman out for
anywhere from 5 -30 minutes.
Keep in mind that this is an act or "scene "
that will grow better with each session. As she gets more
comfortable with what the experience is and the afterglow
she will be more open to "getting there" with
you. Be sure your first session is not some full scale
violent assault from the start. Be gentle and work to
a place that is pleasant and yet powerful and exciting.
Listen to safewords and change directions if you hit an
owie or so. Building trust is important.
If you or she is unable to get to an elevated state or
ejaculate performance, don't despair. As I first noted,
any one orgasm or sexual session may not be the right
one. Everyone is wired differently. Come back in a month
and revisit the idea. Allow trust to grow or concede it
just isn't the thing you wish to do together. You cannot
force someone to go where they are not capable or ready
for, no matter what the obstacle or wiring.
In afterglow I assure you she will not want to scrub
the kitchen. Make sure you have ample fluids for her to
drink. A water bottle with a sports nipple top is handy.
You'll want an additional towel to wipe her (and yourself)
down and a blanket to cover her.
Obviously this isn't the scene to try an hour before
the PTA bake sale or if you don't allow a long time for
afterglow and recovery.
As you discover this level of stimulation it may become
easier and easier to attain it with less effort.
Enjoy your journey and the additional links and reading
here.
If you need, I'll be glad to lend a hand. <wink>
-Malo
|
|
Originally I had links to a powerotics page that included
Fisting
and Female Ejaculation resources. Alas those pages are
now gone. So rather than just link to sites and discussions
I have posted several here.
I do enjoy showing women this amazing part of themselves
and while I have created this page to assemble discussions
on the topic, I do not subscribe to everything posted
here. But this is a good place to learn more and think
in new ways.
Domination is often about leading you to better understandings..
Enjoy the journey.
|
Female
Ejaculation Articles
excerpted from oxygen
experts,
dear
delilah,
Is it possible for a woman to ejaculate? My girlfriend gushes
liquid when she has an orgasm. It is not a huge amount of fluid,
but it's definitely noticeable, and somewhat thinner and wetter
than normal lubrication. It doesn't seem to be urine. It's taken
some reassurance for her to relax enough about this to enjoy
herself during sex. I've never experienced such a thing before
and am very curious. What do you know about this phenomenon?
- lover boy
dear lover boy,
Yes, some woman do ejaculate when they climax. And they can't
change it or control it -- anymore than women who don't ejaculate
during orgasm.
In your case, it's important for your girlfriend to know that
the fluid she emits during orgasm is normal. In a groundbreaking
book called "The G-Spot," by Alice Ladas, Beverly
Whipple,and John Perry, it was first publicly noted that some
women ejaculate during orgasm. The fluid comes from the urethra,
not the vagina, but it is not urine. The composition is still
unknown, and the amount and consistency vary from woman to woman
and from interlude to interlude. Most women who can ejaculate
experience a sense of deep relaxation and relief when the fluid
is released.
Some women are so embarrassed or unsure about the fluid that
they try to hold it in, which can cause frequent urinary tract
infections. Best off to let your partner know that it's completely
normal for SOME women to ejaculate, and that it's okay for her
to relax and enjoy. For more information on women's ejaculation,
click here.<Dead link>
advice originally given on January 21, 1997
---------
"Women
ejaculate, too"
From the May 2000 issue
of Self magazine.
There's more than one way to make a wet spot
- in fact, there's a whole camp of doctors who believe that
all women ejaculate when they have an orgasm. In one study from
Florida State University in Tallahassee, 82 percent of women
said they experienced a release of fluid at the moment of orgasm.
Haven't noticed this yourself? "Since most women are lying
on their backs during sex and the amount of fluid is so small
[about a teaspoon], it sometimes doesn't come out," explains
Beverly Whipple, professor at Rutgers University and president
of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and
Therapists. "But research has demonstrated that all women
ejaculate a substance through the urethra that is not
urine.""

Female
Ejaculation
Society for Human Sexuality
topic: Female Ejaculation Tutorial
started by: Nirate
1. Female Ejaculation Tutorial
by: Nirate
on: 02/22/01 23:14
Female Ejaculation: What it is and how to do it.
History
If you were to refer to literature over the last 50 years you
would be lead to believe that females have only been able to
ejaculate since about 1980. Of course this is absurd, and just
shows how "the experts" can be wrong for decades on
just about anything. Many knew the experts were wrong, but had
little success in convincing anyone. Needless to say this lead
to many problems, needless surgery (to fix the poor women who
would ejaculate), expensive counseling (got to find out what
happened when they were children to cause this "problem"),
and in some cases divorce. "The G Spot" by Alice Kahn
Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John D. Perry, has dozens of letters
from women who went though various personal tragedies because
they would ejaculate during lovemaking. Doctors, gynecologists,
and psychiatrists invariably told them they were peeing and
needed either surgery or psychotherapy.
Newsweek published an article entitled "Just How the Sexes
Differ" in May of 1981. One of the major difference was
listed was that men ejaculate, but women do not. However, Aristotle
wrote about female ejaculation, and Galen knew about it in the
second century. The female prostate, which generates the fluid
which is ejaculated, was described in some detail by De Graaf
in his "New Treatise Concerning the Generative Organs of
Women". (1) "... during the sexual act it discharges
to lubricate the tract so copiously that it even flows outside
the pudenda. This is the matter which may have been taken to
be actual female semen." He describes the fluid as "rushing
out" with "impetus" and "in one gush."
(2)
The medical community was finally awakened
in 1980 when Perry and Whipple showed a film of a female ejaculating
to the SSSS (Society for the Scientific Study of Sex). Martin
Weisberg, M.D., a gynecologist at Thomas Jefferson University
Hospital in Philadelphia responded, "Bull ... I spend half
my waking hours examining, cutting apart, putting together,
removing, or rearranging female reproductive organs. There is
no female prostrate, and women don't ejaculate."
Yet after seeing the film and witnessing the event in person
he changed his tune: "The vulva and vagina were normal
with no abnormal masses or spots. The urethra was normal. Everything
was normal. She then had her partner stimulate her by inserting
two fingers into the vagina and stroking along the urethra lengthwise.
To our amazement, the area began to swell. It eventually became
a firm one by two cm oval area distinctly different from the
rest of the vagina. In a few moments the subject seemed to perform
a Valsalva maneuver (bearing down as if starting to defecate)
and seconds later several cc's of milky fluid shot out the urethra.
The material analysis described in the paper (Perry & Whipple's)
is correct, its composition was closest to prostatic fluid".
Fluid Characteristics
The ejaculate is very much like prostrate
fluid. It is usually clear, or milky and as thin as water. It
does not have the look, smell or taste of urine. It is almost
odorless. The taste varies, depending on the time of the month
and diet, and possibly other factors, such as amount of stimulation
received prior to ejaculating or time since the last ejaculation.
It can vary from an almost honey sweet, sour, bitter, or a combination
of these tastes.
Even though it is ejaculated from the urethra, it is most definitely
not urine. It is absolutely impossible to pee during a orgasm
unless there is a weak pubococcygeus muscle. This is very important,
and it is important for the female and her partner to both understand
this. The pubococcygeus muscle contracts when terminating a
stream of urine, and is the muscle which contracts during orgasm.
This contraction helps prevent retrograde ejaculation (ejaculation
back into the bladder), and of course prevents the bladder from
draining during orgasm.
Problems Women have Ejaculating
I think there are two major problems women face that prevents
them from the immensely enjoyable experience of ejaculation.
They are the female's mental attitude, and their partners inability
or unwillingness to spend the time and effort during lovemaking
and to learn the necessary techniques. We will address both
of these problems and the solutions here.
The ejaculation is done through the urethra.
This is the same tube that is used for urination. It is located
outside the vagina, between it and the clitoris. The fluid is
water like, and non- lubricating. In no way does ejaculation
improve the chances of conceiving, it offers no lubrication,
and is dumped outside of the vagina. The only conceivable purpose
of female ejaculation is for pleasure. And the pleasure is intense,
in many cases far surpassing the best orgasm's. Often ejaculation
takes place during both a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm (yes
there are two type of orgasms, clitoral and vaginal, but often
orgasm is a combination of the two), giving the female extreme
pleasure, sort of a triple whammy. Sometimes after ejaculation
the female will virtually pass out from the intense feelings.
It can be argued that since the only reason
that females can and do ejaculate is for pleasure, then there
should be no reason for them to not do so, and as often as they
please. It is one of the safer sex acts, since in most cases
it can be triggered with fingers alone. Ejaculating from intercourse
is more difficult, especially when performed from the missionary
position, but still possible.
Preparation Recommendations
for the Woman's Partner
Wash hands well. Trim fingernails. Make sure that the thumb,
and first two finger nails do not extend past the fingertips.
Trimming them as far back as possible would be best. Make sure
that there is no dirt or crud under the fingernails.
Place a towel on the bed. A surprising amount
of fluid can be released during female ejaculation. Compared
to a male it can be like a water cannon instead of a water pistol.
Have some K&Y Jelly handy. At some point
additional lubrication may be necessary, even if she is having
heavy orgasms and climaxes.
Set aside enough time. The first successful
ejaculation may take from 10 minutes to over an hour.
It may be wise to exercise your hands, fingers,
and arm for several days prior to this exercise. The motions
necessary can become quite tiring after a while if you are not
in good physical shape.
Before beginning the first time, discuss it.
Let her know that you are striving to give her an ejaculation.
That female ejaculation is perfectly normal, and a wonderful
experience for both of you. Convince her that there is nothing
to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. Explain that just prior
to ejaculation, she most likely will feel like she is about
to pee. This is a difficult point for many women, as they will
immediately draw back. Convince her that it is normally impossible
to pee during an orgasm, and that the feeling is simply the
first sign she is about to ejaculate.
Since the movement of the fluid through the
urethra will initially feel exactly like when she starts to
pee, this is very important. The reflex to stop peeing will
immediately abort the ejaculation, so she needs to be told to
relax, and allow the fluid to pass. In other words when she
feels like she is about to pee, she should go ahead and pee.
Only it really won't be pee, it will be an ejaculation, and
within a couple of seconds it will be very obvious to her that
this is something quite different. Once she knows the feeling,
she will be able to push it out once it starts, with astounding
results. It is best for the partner to be sitting between her
legs at this time, else she may overshoot the towel or even
wet the far wall.
Once she has ejaculated, rejoice with her.
Don't make fun, or a joke. If you do it may be the last time
she will be able to ejaculate, at least in your presence. Unlike
a man, this is not the end. You can continue, and she may well
have multiple orgasms and ejaculations with further stimulation.
Technique
Start slow. Use typical foreplay. You may want to start with
her on her back. Stimulate the clitoris. This can be done with
a moist finger, or with your tongue. Performing cunnilingus
while rubbing her breasts with your hands can be quite stimulating
for her. At any rate, continue clitoral stimulation until she
is lubricated. At this point slide two fingers into her vagina.
Allow them to move along the front wall of the vagina. You should
encounter an area about 2 inches in, which should be somewhat
enlarged. This is the G spot. It lies directly along the urethra,
and is located almost directly behind the clitoris. Slowly stroke
this area. It should start becoming more enlarged.
Ejaculation is almost always triggered by
stimulating the G spot. Clitoral stimulation can often assist
in helping her reach an ejaculation, and also can make it more
intense. But stimulating the G spot is usually necessary at
least initially. Once she starts ejaculating easily, she may
find that clitoral stimulation alone is sufficient.
Stroking can be done a number of ways. The two fingers can rub
the area as a unit, or they can take opposite strides, similar
to walking. A third method involved sliding the two finders
out a fraction of an inch, and pushing them back in, similar
to the in- out motion of intercourse, but with smaller strokes.
Initially pace the stimulation somewhat slow. Alternate with
clitoral stimulation either with the thumb, other hand, or mouth/tongue.
Also try simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris and G spot.
Watch her reactions.
Simultaneous may be too intense for some but
necessary for ejaculation for others. Take your cues from her.
When she starts bearing down, and you feel the vagina contract,
begin pumping rapidly. When she is in the middle of an orgasm,
stimulate the clitoris at the same time, and pump the G spot
gently, but very rapidly. Talk to her. Say, "your getting
it, go for it, don't worry, relax and let it come" or other
similar words. She may need reassurance that if she drenches
you, you will not be upset. Tell her how erotic you find it
for her to ejaculate. Make her comfortable with both you, and
the idea of ejaculation.
This actually is not the best position. If
she does not succeed after a short time, have her roll over
on her stomach, and get up on her knees. You will find stimulating
the G spot much easier in this position, and she will most likely
respond much better. With the two fingers turned down, slide
your two fingers back into her vagina. Find the G spot and continue
stimulating the G spot. You may use the other hand to stimulate
the clitoris. If after a couple of orgasms, using rapid pumping
on the G spot during orgasm, she still has not ejaculated, then
turn the hand around, putting the thumb into the vagina.
The thumb will likely not reach the G spot,
but don't worry, it should come up to meet the thumb during
orgasm. Take the two fingers and lay them down on the clit.
Allow the entire curve between the thumb and forefinger to lie
along her from the vagina to her clitoris, and begin pumping
with the thumb, and rubbing the clit at the same time. When
she starts an orgasm, start pumping the entire hand rapidly.
At this point she will most likely ejaculate. The trick is to
massage the area where the urethra comes out, while stimulating
the clitoris and G spot. This will help to override the feeling
she is about to pee, and allow her to let it pass.
Be aware that the female is not only capable
of multiple orgasms, but also multiple ejaculations. It is not
unusual for her to have from 3 to 5 ejaculations before depleting
her supply of cum. Once she has ejaculated one or more times,
you can continue with intercourse. Entering from behind will
stimulate the G-spot more easily than missionary style, and
often additional ejaculations will occur during intercourse.
Even if they don't, she will be highly excited, and very sensitive.
The final result will most likely be the most intense and pleasurable
sex she has ever had.
I highly recommend "The G Spot" for
further reading.
Footnotes: 1) Regnier de Graal, "New Treatise Concerning
the Generative Organs of Women", p. 107 2) Alice Kahn Ladas,
Beverly Whipple and
John D. Perry, "The G Spot" page 59. Dell Publishing
1982.
This article was supplied by the Society for Human Sexuality
Please visit their site.
Copyright 1998 Society
for Human Sexuality. All rights reserved

Debbie
Fox on Female Ejaculation
|This article was "rescued" from a geo-cities site
that no longer exists. Unfortunately the graphics and many of
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Female Ejaculation
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Perhaps the best and most accurate source of information
on the biology of Female Ejaculation and the G-Crest can be
found at the website of Gary Schubach, Ed. D. He has done research on the nature of
female ejaculation.
Before discussing female ejaculation
and the G-Spot/Crest, I feel I should address female body fluids
in general. Our society views any form of liquid that exits
the female body with great disdain. Women are not permitted
to openly perform most normal bodily functions, it is not seen
as being feminine.
Women are expected to maintain
a dry pristine appearance, regardless of their current physical
activity. Mothers use to tell their daughters it was not wise
to engage in sports as boys would see them sweaty and disheveled.
Even today, deodorant and antiperspirant ads drive home the
idea, "Do not let them see you sweat." Women are told
they need special deodorants, made just for them. Most women
would prefer to have their fingernails ripped out one by one
than be seen having an "accident", that is, menstruating
in public. I gather some girls and women even come to dislike
the idea of urinating in a public restroom, holding their urine
all day until they get home. Are they perhaps afraid to be seen
urinating by others?
Even female sexuality is marred
by these unwritten laws. It is hard to relax and enjoy sex if
you are worried about sweating heavily or producing a lot of
vaginal lubrication. Though a woman may desire sex the most
during her menstrual period, she may not engage in sex then because she
fears she will make a mess of things. Social mores about female
body fluids can put a big damper on female sexuality and pleasure.
Sweaty men are seen as sexual,
virile. Their manhood is measured in their ability to produce
large quantities of semen. They draw their name in the snow
using their urine and see who can ejaculate the furthest. Men
making a mess with their ejaculate is seen as unavoidable, normal,
and is never questioned. Men can ejaculate on the face, in the
mouth, and on and in the body of their partner, and it is seen
as normal. If a woman gets her body fluids on her partner, that
is another story, she has made a dirty mess, an interesting
double standard. If a man can cover his partner with his body
fluids, a woman should have the same privilege.
Before a woman can learn to
ejaculate, enjoy ejaculating, or enjoy sex in general, she must
accept her bodily fluids as normal. She must not question the
nature or quantity of her wetness, be it sweat, vaginal lubrication,
menses, ejaculate, or urine. A woman cannot allow herself to
ejaculate and experience potentially earth-shattering orgasms
if she cannot let go when the pressure or urge to ejaculate
arises. So ladies, give yourself permission to get wet and messy.
The main motivation behind the
studies into female ejaculation appears to be the determination
of whether or not the fluid expelled is urine. If a woman ejaculates
a non-urine liquid, like a man, it is normal and she cannot
help it. If it is urine, she has a medical problem. Authors
who write about the G-Spot strive to persuade their readers
that female ejaculate is not urine. Why this great importance
over the exact nature of this fluid squirting from women's bodies?
Does it really matter whether it is urine or ejaculate? If a
woman gets a thrill out of squirting urine at the moment of
orgasm, are we to say she has a problem? Do we mean to take
this pleasure away from her? I say, if a woman squirts urine
at the moment of orgasm, let her, if she ejaculates uncontrollably,
so be it.
Personal opinion aside, is a
woman urinating or ejaculating? This is a question that you
cannot answer outside a medical lab. I can think of no way of
being able to tell if a woman is voluntarily squirting urine,
experiencing incontinence, or ejaculating at the moment of orgasm.
All these fluids exit through the urethra, so the visible source
is the same for them all. I'm not aware of any color, taste,
or scent test that can be applied to the expelled liquid that
will distinguish them from one another. So we are left with
no other choice than to see them as indistinguishable, the same.
If you read the article mentioned
at the top of this page, the majority of the fluid ejaculated
comes from the bladder, but it is not quite normal urine. There
is also a small amount of true ejaculate that is produced by
the paraurethral glands surrounding urethra. In this study,
the women's bladders had just been emptied prior to orgasm.
If they had had a full bladder, would not the volume and consistency
of the ejaculation likely change? Perhaps becoming a greater
percentage of urine? It seems likely that the average female
ejaculation is mainly made up of liquid from the bladder, a
mixture of urine and other natural body fluids produced during
sexual arousal and orgasm. Even women who truly ejaculate, produce
very little ejaculate, the glands that produce it are small,
and it is likely to be overwhelmed by the volume of fluid from
the bladder.
Women who expel fluid during
orgasm report the color, smell, consistency, and even taste,
varies from one occurrence to the next. (It is safe for a person
to taste their own ejaculate, and for couples who already exchange
body fluids, but not for couples needing to practice safe sex.)
Some have found their menstrual cycle influences the type of
fluid expelled. What you eat is likely to have an effect on
it, as will how much liquid you have consumed. Some women report
that it is sometimes clear and odorless, other times thick and
pungent. Others report that it sometimes looks and smells like
urine. It is safe to say, most women's ejaculate will vary with
time, even during a single sexual episode.
The next question for debate
concerns whether or not 'all' women have a G-Spot, or G-Crest
and subsequently can ejaculate. This is not really a valid question.
The 'G-Spot', only indicates the 'sensitivity' of a non-specific
area of tissue. The 'G-Crest' only defines the swollen 'condition'
of the paraurethral glands during sexual arousal. There are
no anatomical structures with these names. This is in part why
people have trouble finding them.
What people should ask is,
"Do all women have paraurethral glands?" The answer
to this question is, yes. All women have a rudimentary structure
at the base of their bladder and along their urethra that would
have developed into a prostate gland if their genetic code had
indicated male, not female. This female prostate is functional
in some, if not all women. I would guess it is functional in
all women even if they do not ejaculate.
The female paraurethral glands,
female prostate gland, surround the female urethra, and empty
into the urethra through many small ducts. 'Paraurethral' simply
means 'around the urethra'. There are illustrations that show
these glands in the anatomy section. They are also called 'Skene's Glands' and
'Urethral Sponge'. The paraurethral glands swell up and protrude
into the vagina during sexual arousal, hence Mr. Schubach's,
adaptation of the term, "G-Crest". It is these glans
that people need to locate and stimulate.
Some describes the paraurethral
glands as being part of the clitoris, as they swell and become
engorged with blood during sexual arousal. Any anatomical structure
in the female that would have comprised some part of the penis
had they been male, might very well be considered as part of
the clitoris, as they are all somehow directly connected together
via nerves and blood supply..
So how does one locate these
paraurethral glands? Quite simply, you locate the urethra. The
urethral opening is located directly above the vaginal opening,
below the clitoris. You can see it with your bare eyes. The
urethra extends back from the urethral opening, urethral meatus,
into the body, along the front or upper wall of the vagina for
1.5 to 2 inches. While you can see the urethral opening, you
cannot see the paraurethral glands themselves. Using a speculum,
you might be able to see the swollen paraurethral glands projecting
into the vagina through the vaginal wall. The below mentioned
video does show this view. Adventures people may want to slip
a finger or two into their own, or their partner's, vagina while
they urinate so they can actually feel the urine pass through
the urethra. This will help you locate its exact position. Once
you have located the urethra, you have a bases for seeking out
a possible area along it that is highly sensitive to stimulation,
a G-Spot.
Defining the 'G-Spot' is not
a simple task. Most people would simply say it is an area of
high sensitivity located within the paraurethral structures.
The problem with this definition is, the sensitivity of this
area is not likely to be constant. If a woman is not sexually
aroused, she may not have a 'G-Spot'. If the same woman is highly
aroused and her paraurethral glands are engorged with blood,
she may have a very distinct 'G-Spot'. Another woman may not
have a 'G-Spot' until she is on the verge of orgasm. There are
perhaps women who are not aware of a 'G-Spot, yet ejaculate
and experience a more intense orgasm if their paraurethral glands
are stimulated. It is important for people not to form a concrete
definition of a 'G-Spot'. Each woman will create her own definition,
one valid only for her.
As I mentioned above, some
people describe the paraurethral glands as being part of the
clitoris. Even if this is not true, the clitoris probably holds
the key to female ejaculation for most women. If the clitoris
is not stimulated a woman is less likely to become highly aroused.
If she is not highly aroused, her paraurethral glands will not
fill with blood. If her paraurethral glands are not swollen
she may not have a G-Spot. If her clitoris is not stimulated
she is less likely to reach orgasm, preventing the rhythmic
contractions of the pelvic muscles that expel and release the
ejaculate. So quite simply, before you can go exploring for
the G-Spot, you must master clitoral stimulation beforehand.
Some women are orgasmic and ejaculate when their G-Spot/vagina
alone is stimulated, this ability is likely to be discovered
accidentally versus intentionally.
So now that you have an idea
as to the location of the G-Spot, how do you stimulate it? The
most versatile tools to use are your fingers. They are firm
but flexible. They have feeling and give you feedback. For the
solo explorer though, fingers can be a problem. They just are
not very long. Plus, if one hand is stimulating your clitoris,
it limits access to your vagina with your other hand. So in
addition to fingers, dildos and/or vibrators are usually required
for finding and stimulating the G-Spot. (I will refer to both
vibrators and dildos as dildos for the sake of convenience)
Notice I used the plural 'dildos', not the singular 'dildo'.
There is a considerable chance that you may have to try many
different dildos to find the right one.
How do you pick out a dildo
for G-Spot stimulation? Trial and error. The dildos that do
have a good success rate are those that are curved near the
tip, called G-Spot stimulators, and penis shaped dildos with
a prominent ridge at the junction of the glans and shaft. Some
women find hard plastic dildos work best, others, soft flexible
ones. Some find that makeshift dildos work great, cucumbers,
brush handles, mirror handles, etc. Some women prefer slim dildos
that they can direct at a specific point within their vagina,
others prefer their vagina to be filled and stretched to the
maximum. So if you are going to buy a dildo to use for G-Spot
stimulation, be prepared to buy and try many. Any woman who
is considering using dildos seriously needs to be aware that
she will most likely have a collection of favorites, versus
one special one. As women's moods change, so do their dildo
needs. While women often start out with one, many soon find
they have a drawer full of them. Some women prize their collections.
To pee or not to pee? Since
the physical act of female urination is so similar to female
ejaculation, many women have found erotic enjoyment in urinating
during sex, solo and with a partner. Women seeking to learn
to ejaculate may find themselves squirting urine versus actually
ejaculating, not being able to tell them apart. This is because
both urination and ejaculation require a woman to be able to
let go and relax her bladder sphincter and her pelvic muscles.
If you keep your bladder sphincter closed and tighten your pelvic
muscles, you cannot urinate or ejaculate. Women seeking to ejaculate
are advised to push out when the urge to urinate or ejaculate
comes over them at the point of orgasm. Doing this gives your
body permission to ejaculate, but it also gives your body permission
to urinate. You have no control over which occurs. You will
just be aware of the physical sensations that occur. The sensations
of both may be pleasant and indistinguishable. Hence learning
to urinate intentionally at the point of orgasm may help a woman
learn to ejaculate.
Learning to be able to urinate
at the point of orgasm is likely to be easier done alone than
with a partner. You will probably find it easier to relax, and
you wont be as concerned about the resulting wetness. Doing
this in the tub has some advantages, one you do not have to
worry about the wetness, soaking in warm water will help relax
you, and cleanup is a snap. Drink a couple glasses of water
a short while before starting, allow your bladder to fill. It
does not need to feel full, just not empty. Lie back in the
tub, or lay on several towels on your bed. Start to masturbate.
Caress your clitoris. Slipping your fingers or a dildo into
your vagina may feel nice. You do not need to necessarily move
them back and forth inside your vagina. Allow the sexual buildup
to occur slowly. Practice tightening and relaxing your pelvic
muscles, commonly called Kegel exercises.
Think about the act of urinating,
of letting go. Allowing your bladder to fill will result in
you feeling the need to urinate. The closer you are to the point
of orgasm, the stronger the urge to urinate is likely to become.
Hold back on your orgasm until you feel you cannot hold your
urine a second longer. At the point of orgasm press out and
relax your pelvic muscles, welcome the feeling of the urine
escaping from your bladder. The stronger the force behind the
urine, the greater the sensations are likely to be. So push
and try to squirt your urine. It takes practice to be able to
let go spontaneously, since you have been conditioned to maintain
strict control over your urination habits. It may also help
to vocalize the release, make some noise. Intentionally crying
out will help with the release.
Moving on to ejaculation only
requires a couple slight changes in technique. You want to empty
your bladder first. You want to let go without a full bladder
producing the pressure or urge. The urge should still develop,
just not be driven by a full bladder. The urge to ejaculate
may not occur without there being stimulation of your paraurethral
glands. This is likely to require the use of a dildo if you
are alone. As you massage your clitoris, using your fingers
or a dildo massage your urethra by massaging the top of your
vagina. Using only light pressure at first. Massage the full
length of your urethra, from the opening of your vagina back
into your vagina a couple inches. Keep up the clitoral massage.
Try different pressures and strokes on your urethra. Massaging
the urethral opening may feel pleasant as well. Massaging your
urethra may make you feel the need to urinate, this is desired.
Do not fight it, go with the flow, literally.
If you find a spot that is highly
sensitive, you may want to concentrate solely on it, but you
may find it is to sensitive to directly stimulate. If your G-Spot
is highly sensitive, you may find you are only able to tolerate
its stimulation when you are very close to orgasm, when your
pain threshold has increased. Keep massaging your clitoris and
urethra. Continue to the point of orgasm. A slow build up, with
lots of teasing, may help produce the greatest urge and strongest
orgasm. When orgasm occurs, relax your bladder and press out
as if urinating. If you ejaculate you will likely feel a new
and strong sensation, if not, you will still experience a strong
orgasm, so nothing is lost. You may not be aware of any increased
wetness until after the orgasm has subsided. Being able to ejaculate
may take practice, even if you are able to squirt urine during
orgasm. It is not known whether all women can ejaculate, so
you just have to experiment. In any event it should be pleasurable.
A woman's partner can bring
her to an orgasm that includes ejaculation. If a woman already
knows she is capable of ejaculating, she should let her partner
know, not pray that it wont happen again. She should discuss
the increased wetness that occurs with her partner, at least
prepare them for it. Hopefully they will see your ejaculations
as erotic. If they do not, reeducating them about female fluids
and ejaculation may persuade them to at least accept the ejaculations
as normal even if they do not like the associated wetness.
There is perhaps one big advantage
to having a partner stimulate you to orgasm when you are trying
to ejaculate, they wont stop the stimulation unless you tell
them to. If you are masturbating and you start to feel uncomfortable,
out of control, you will likely stop immediately. This could
prevent you from experiencing orgasm and ejaculation. With a
partner you can agree beforehand that they will not stop, even
if you say, "stop". (Doing this requires using a "safe
word" that indicates "stop" for real. This is
a word you are not likely to say accidentally during sex, without
thinking about it.) If you find you pull away, you can ask that
they hold or follow you so you cannot move away from the stimulation.
Of course you should only do these things if you really trust
your partner, they need to be forceful without going to far.
How do you stimulate your partner's
paraurethral glands? Your hands provide excellent tools to use.
The best way to stimulate the inside of their vagina, along
the upper wall, is to create a hook with your index finger.
Imagine you want to signal to someone standing across the room
that you want them to come toward you, you turn your hand palm
up and signal with your index finger by making a hook, curling
it up and straightening it repeatedly. You can do the same thing
with one or two finger inside the vagina. Massaging the upper
wall of the vagina, from the opening back two inches. Start
out with a very light touch. Press your fingers up and toward
the front, pointing toward the pubic bone, or clitoris. Use
the urethral opening as a guide.
Start out by getting her aroused
with manual and/or oral clitoral stimulation. Continue the clitoral
stimulation as you massage her urethral glands. Ask your partner
if there is a specific spot or area that produces intense or
enjoyable sensations when you massage it, her G-Spot. As you
sense her getting closer to orgasm, apply a firmer touch, if
she enjoys it. Maintain a constant and steady rhythm. Follow
through, continue the massage up through her orgasm. Then switch
to a very light caressing touch as she comes down from her orgasm.
If she experiences multiple orgasms her orgasms and ejaculations
may become more intense, and the amount of ejaculation may increase,
the more orgasms she has. If she orgasms with your fingers inside
her vagina, her vaginal muscles may squeeze them very tightly,
do not pull out.
You can also stimulate your
partner to ejaculation using a dildo. This takes more verbal
communication as you cannot feel exactly what the dildo is doing.
She needs to let you know what feels good, or bad. Some women
may like for the tip of the vibrator to be pointed at their
urethra, others may prefer a full feeling. The stretching and
pressure created by large dildos or an entire hand may stimulate
the urethra enough to cause an ejaculation, even if that is
not the intent.
A woman may also ejaculate during
intercourse, with a penis or a dildo in a harness. What seems
to work are positions that result in the penis or dildo stimulating
the upper wall of the vagina. Like when a woman's partner kneels
between her knees or when she is on top controlling the direction
and force of the thrusting. Some women may ejaculate during
intercourse without even trying, others may find it a challenge.
It is more likely if she already ejaculates frequently during
manual massage. Practice makes perfect.
Unfortunately there can be some
negative side affects to massaging the urethra. The urethra
is highly sensitive and is easily irritated. Even normal intercourse
can irritate a woman's urethra, resulting in painful urination
and infection. This is especially true of virgins and women
with tense pelvic muscles as they are too tight, resulting in
there being to much friction between their vagina and the thrusting
penis or dildo. So intentionally stimulating the urethra increases
the chances of there being irritation and infection. To help
prevent infections and reduce the chances of irritation, a woman
should, drinks lots of water, and urinate just before and right
after urethral stimulation, or sex in general if you are prone
to urinary tract infections. Just release a little bit of urine
before sex if you are trying things with a full bladder. They
also recommend women drink cranberry juice as its acidic level
helps to ward off the bacteria that cause infections. If you
experience irritation, painful urination, or infection, try
using less pressure when massaging or stimulating the urethra.
The urethra may become accustomed to the stimulation with time,
but do not torture yourself, or inflict multiple infections.
Have fun, but do not hurt yourself.
Dealing with the wetness. If
you ejaculate there may be just a little liquid expelled, or
there could be a lot of liquid expelled. If you are intentionally
squirting urine or ejaculate repeatedly, there may be a liquid
everywhere. Since you usually sleep where you have sex, ejaculations
can present a problem. If you only ejaculate a little, simply
keeping a couple towels near the bed may fix the problem. If
you gush, then towels may not be enough. Having a plastic cover
on the mattress and extra sheets may do the trick, though changing
the sheets and cleaning up may not be the way you want to relax
after sex. You can buy the bed pads hospitals use, just say
you are caring for a sick child or parent, as they are absorbent
and have a plastic backing. You can try having sex in the tub
or shower. Have a second bed or an air mattress to have sex
on. For women who ejaculate every time, regardless of whether
they want to, cleanup can be bothersome at times, and does take
some getting use to. Just try to keep a positive attitude and
be prepared with extra towels and sheets. A supportive partner
always helps.
I hate to be the barer of bad
news, but the chances are, the women seen ejaculating in adult
movies are most likely urinating, not ejaculating. They are
intentionally squirting urine to simulate orgasm and true female
ejaculation. The proof of this is the shear volume they expel.
True ejaculation is almost impossible to capture on film, it
is over in a blink of an eye. Even in a video produced by women,
titled 'How to Female Ejaculate', features one woman who, while
appearing to be having real orgasms, is obviously squirting
urine, lots of urine, not just ejaculating. She does enjoy herself
immensely though, so it is entertaining to watch. When I mentioned
I thought this girl was urinating, not ejaculating to the star
and producer of this video, she did not deny it. The other women
in the video do appear to actually ejaculate, and I highly recommend
it to those who want to learn how or to just see female ejaculation.
Enjoy mainstream ejaculation videos, but keep in the back of
your mind that it is all fantasy. The above video is available
from Good Vibrations.
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Female
Ejaculation Links
Ivory Hope's Pages
"Throughout time there have been reports of the expulsion
of fluid from the vagina by women during sexual arousal and/or
orgasm. There were references to this by historic scientific
figures such as Aristotle and Galen..."
Anne's
female ejaculation pages |
"Back in the 1800s, if a woman was feeling horny,
her husband would take her to the doctor so that he (yes, all
doctors were men in those days) could treat what was in those
days diagnosed as hysterical tension...
DR
G'S G-SPOT & Female Ejaculation Site |
Other benefits of a public recognition of female ejaculation
as a natural event (and the so-called G spot as an erogenous
zone, capable of producing orgasm in a woman) could be the creation
of additional sexual activities that might not just be a prelude
to intercourse but an end unto themselves. It could lead to
a broadening of peoples' sensual experiences and their sexual
repertoire. New pleasurable behaviors, with no goal other than
pleasure from those activities, could be learned with the added
benefits that they have very low risk in terms of AIDS, STDs
and unwanted pregnancy.
Dr.
Schubach's Bibliography |
"The following bibliography has been compiled and submitted
by Dr. Gary Schubach (doctorg@slip.net) in preparation for a
research project at the Institute for Advanced Studies in Human
Sexuality in San Francisco, CA, USA
Liberated
Christians |
"One major impediment to intimacy between men and women
is the speed with which many men become aroused and reach orgasm
as opposed to the slower, more leisurely lovemaking women need
if they are to have a similar experience. The true lover however
will take the time to allow a woman to reach her full sexual
pleasure potential...
Action
Love Dr. Lin |
The crystal clear discharge is the vaginal female ejaculation
due to a powerful orgasm contraction against the Skene's glands
between the bladder and vagina/uterus. We have always experienced
this type of female ejaculation with the 3-point (or 4-point)
excitation method...
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