Webster gives us adefinition of envy as " painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage."

Whereas Jealous is defined as 1 a : intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness b : disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness 2 : hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage 3 : vigilant in guarding a possession

Envy might involve looking at the person in the nice shiney late model car next to you at the stop light... and deciding you will be where that person is one day. To that end it is a motivating force. Jealousy however is indicitive of a sense of posessiveness or concern about impending loss, real or imagined. In D/s it can be about putting someone on a pedistal..then wanting no one else to touch it. The goal of successful relationships in or out of lifestyle should be about building trust. not grinding away at it. If you have come to this page seeking help with issues of jealousy, consider why you feel threatened. Is it suspicions or facts that haunt you? Do you feel strong or inadequate at the base of it all.

Figuring out what it is we beleive isn't always that easy when it comes to deconstructing negative patterns caused by guilt, hurt, anger or jealousy. one known as prettypet recently spoke to me about her jealousy issues. " While i am a loving loyal girl, i fight a lil green monster that threatens to destroy my closest relationship whether because of real or precieved threats. That monster turns me into a jealous shrew that i despise." I asked the woman to find relevant links on the topic to share here and then I asked her what she learned in exploring the topic. " I learned that my feelings are real with the exception of one perhaps
the perception that i am not good enough and that is why my lover turns to others. That is maybe the most destructive"

Here now are links to articles about managing Jealousy

- Sir