MY FIRST PIERCING
epiphany^ .gets her clit hood done

On Saturday January 9,1999 epiphany^ made her second trip to Texas to visit me. On her previous visit she discovered subspace and pain / pleasure play for the first time. On this trip one of our goals was to allow me to join her for her first piercing. She deferred all jewelry and decisions to me after extensive discussions on channel and review of the many types of piercings as found on the web and the Whipping Post piercing and body modification pages. I chose a clit hood piercing, a squeaky clean APP accredited shop Taurian's, and a 12 gauge gold ring with a gold captive ball. During our wait, the gentleman before us got a Prince Albert (male genital piercing) and came out smiling.

I worked with epiphany^ on two relaxing exercises during her wait, one involving breathing and focusing taken right out of my pain play scenes. The other, involving peaceful place visualizations which she refers to as the tree memory scene.

epiphany^ is a student at a prestigious institution of higher learning in the northeast pursuing a professional career and doing well at it. epiphany^ is not collared, but the bond between us as friends and Dominant /submissive is a strong one, surviving many tests of on line turmoil. She is dedicated devoted and patient, but never has to relinquish her independence. Her introspection under my Mentoring has taken her to wonderful levels of freedom and self discovery. I admire her for working so hard and for juggling it all so well.

She was (as always) assigned to write her experiences to share with Whipping Post guests. Herein is her work at that assignment.

1/99

Bad^ Sir,

FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Going back to the first thought s about piercings that i have had is hard for me. i outwardly have been pretty adamant that it was foolish, and thought "What if you didn't want it forever?" But, the one that had me wondering most was. "Damn, doesn't it hurt?" i have always admired the people capable of that daring, since most of my own inhibitions due to fear control me very effectively.

For a long time i had been doing some thinking, when i look in retrospect, but it was not all that conscious. i read the one description on A D/s Web Center about female piercing, and was intrigued, and surprised by this person's feelings and reactions. i ran across a few people online who have had various piercings. The more i heard about them, the more interested i became. i still had some weird ideas about the permanence of it, but since my sister in law had removed hers, without any troubles, it became less of an issue. So in a way i had to reexamine why i was against the whole idea . i was scared to death of needles. Yuck, you know how much i hate these things (my fears), and facing them, but at the same time, i can't stand the results of NOT facing them.

WHAT AND WHERE?
From time to time it would cross my mind to get a piercing myself, always pretty quickly discounted as nuts. i think i considered just about everyone of them that wasn't on my face. With professional goals like i have and the image i wish to project there, that just isn't a place i feel comfortable with having pierced. So what did i want to have done? i considered nipples, and labia, and navel, clit, triangle, clit hood, and even a fourchette. The fourchette and the actual clit seemed too extreme for me, but the others all had my infatuation for a time. i couldn't really pick just one. Another part of it that i thought on often regarded the fact that it wouldn't be seen, and sometimes i wondered if i should bother.

HOW AND WITH WHOM?
i can't really remember when all these thoughts totally began, or if it was ever more than a pondering, with no serious intent to go beyond it. But one day, a few weeks before the first visit with you, all of a sudden the thought crossed my mind that i should get a piercing while i am there and let you pick the place and the jewelry. After that wild thought i stepped back and did some more realistic thinking. i really had to wonder why for myself i was willing to do this, and that was hard to think on.

The first thing i thought about was why do i want a piercing in the first place. i realized that i always let my fears of whatever rule me, and sometimes it just pisses me off. So i thought this might be a way of facing and beating my irrational fear of needles. And my next really important thing i needed to look at was why i wanted you there. Deep inside i knew it would never happen without you, but i really spent some time thinking about it. i did ask myself if this was something i was considering doing just for you. Since you never asked it of me, and as far as i knew you had never asked it of another sub, i felt assured that it was something i wanted, but needed some courage from the wizard.

SHARING THE DESIRE
Sharing it with you was important to me because so much of the things we had been through in the past were emotionally charged, me facing things, and you supporting me. More times than i care to admit you held my hand (in a sense) while i went and attacked a scary issue in my life. This was a way you could actually hold my hand when i did. And in many ways it would be a tangible symbol of that special bond we have. And giving you the ability to choose where and what jewelry symbolized the part of the relationship we have where i submit to your desires and your will. Each of these facets was equally important to me. As time got closer to the trip, it became more important to me, but i was still pretty wrapped up in being scared about it, and i wasn't sure it would happen. i really wanted it to, not knowing if there would ever be a repeat trip or not.

Now i never knew if i would actually bring it up to you on the trip, but that was the thinking i had done before i ever left NY. i knew i wanted to share it with you, i just wasn't sure i could. i was still kind of scared about whether or not i actually wanted to attempt it, and i was also scared about what your reaction to me wanting it would be. Rejection of the idea from you probably scared me more than the idea itself.

You, however, somehow read my mind, whether or not you think you do. i am certain of this simply because you mentioned it twice early on, and spoke of having it done, next trip. Heck you even picked out the spot before i mentioned it to you, the one i had been most recently infatuated with. Sometimes you scare me with how well you can read me.

FIRST REQUEST: DENIED
i know i never would have said a word to you if it hadn't been for admitting to another of your subs that i had been considering it. She threatened to tell you if i didn't, so i did.

i know it seemed impulsive to you, and telling you was. It definitely wasn't how i had planned (O.K. so i didn't plan at all) on telling you about it. Some things are just impossible for me to put into words sometimes. i was pretty relieved when you did react as you did, but i also felt rejected, not really disappointed, but more rejected, which was a bit harder on me than you probably realized. i could live without having holes poked in me, but the thought that you wouldn't want to be a part of that with me was harder to imagine. Then you come up with the idea that maybe you would send me someplace near home to have it done. NOT... if you aren't going to be there, it isn't getting done. i didn't say it, but i sure thought it. i am glad that those were the words that pretty much followed immediately after the no, because it eased the rejected feelings i had. Your follow up on it and explaining why you couldn't allow it later on helped me a lot, but i was glad to drop it, too.

MORE THAN AN IMPULSE
Of course then we had to deal with actually talking about it after i got back to NY. i am glad we did, because the more i pondered the idea the stronger my desire became. There still was NO way in hell i was going to do it without you there, but i definitely wanted to do it. Explaining that to you wasn't all that easy to do either. When you told me to get information on where i would have one done at home my mind screamed NOOOOOOO. i then explained to you what i had imagined regarding this whole thing, because it was more to me than something YOU wanted me to do. This was something i wanted to share with you. You reacted pretty well to it. At least you didn't think i was a total freak for what i was thinking.

GIVING IT OVER
Now along with giving you the control to pick the site of the piercing and the jewelry i was also hoping to avoid having to think too much about it, trying to be sneaky maybe, or maybe just afraid to face it. i really didn't like going out and looking at different pictures and jewelry to get ideas of what i liked. But, i am sure it was part of what i needed to do to be able to accomplish the goal of this whole thing. i tried very hard not to influence what you chose one way or another. It was extremely important in my mind that the control i gave you really was YOURS, not just you saying, "Yes, I like your idea let's do it."

YOUR WIFE AS A PARTNER
When you first mentioned your wife going with us, i wasn't sure how i felt. i didn't originally plan it in my mind as that. But thinking on it, i felt she had a right to be there, being your wife and all. As time went on it became something i assumed she would be there for and by the time i actually got there i really wanted her to be a part of it. i am not sure i can really explain why, but it truly felt right. Most of the time i assume that anything that happens between you and i, she knows about and is a part of. So it began to seem natural that she would be there. And i am very grateful that she was. Not only because she got hers done first,(Bad's note: My mostly vanilla wife got a "monroe facial piercing just before epiphany got her clit hood done) but just because her support meant as much to me as yours did.

WAITING
Sometimes in the wait till the second trip i was just dying to know what you had decided on, and others i just didn't want to know. i asked a couple of times, and you hadn't really seemed to have totally decided, which i was glad of in a way. i was really glad when you seemed to be favoring a set of labia rings to the hood, simply because it was not what i had answered you with when you asked where i was considering. i got to a point where i was in favor of that one too, although the 6 seemed a bit extreme when you mentioned them. Especially if this happened to fail at its purpose of curing me of my fear of needles. After 1 would i have been able to handle the other 5?

THE JEWELRY
Sharing with you my preferences of the jewelry was interesting. i know you like silver a lot, and were considering just going with a ring to match the ones in your nipples. Not my first choice, but that was reassuring that you were actually not letting me decide for you. i do like the gold and colors and weird shapes. i didn't want what everyone else had; this was my going out beyond the confines of what is "proper" so i wanted to go as far as i could in a sense i suppose. You really paid attention to what i did express an interest in, but at the same time tossed my ideas in the garbage can, because they weren't appropriate for the area we were having done. (Bad's Note: stone beads and colored titaniums don't do well in damp dark areas)

You may never realize how in those little things you multiply my faith and trust in you. The more i see how much you care about safety and doing things right and watching out for the well being of those around you, the easier it becomes for me to believe that there are people who aren't just out there for their own gain.

i don't think you can imagine the smile on my face the day you told me you had found the ring you wanted used. When you described it, i got the impression you felt like i would not want it and refuse. This was not at all the case. i was so happy you picked something i know i never would have picked for myself. i felt confident, that you really had taken me seriously when i asked you to make those decisions. i was going to be so happy to be wearing that, because you picked it.

THE DAY ARRIVES
In fact after i arrived, and you told me that Taurian's wasn't going to let you give me the ring, because they only use their own autoclaved jewelry i was bummed! i suppose that's life and things happen. It all worked out well in the end i believe.

When we actually went to get the piercing i think i was doing fine till we got into the shop then i got pretty obviously stressed out. It was like a sudden shock of reality, but i can't totally describe it. i hadn't thought i was overtly nervous, which surprised me. i also did not realize that i reacted that way until you noticed it.

Looking at the pictures and the jewelry i kinda sorta zoned, and i tried to pay as little attention to what was being said, because quite frankly i couldn't! There really was a reason why i had you pick out all that stuff... no way could i have actually spoken coherently to the man.

It was hard to answer you about the gold versus silver though. i REALLY wanted that to be something YOU picked. While i know you consider what i want as well, and very seriously, i hated thinking i might tell you what to pick by sharing my opinion with you. i didn't want you to say, "O.K. gold," because i wanted it, if that makes any sense. Now that i have it, i am thoroughly delighted with the gold, and i do like it more than i would have a silver one. i still wonder if you picked it for me against what you wanted. Considering you made the statement, "I am only putting gold down there on my subs", i think you were really happy with the choice as well.

The little stress reliever moment at the counter centered me; it was a combination of the letting go of the fear/tension/anticipation thing, and relearning something i apparently forgot about. Yes, the distraction was good, because i spent a good chunk of time just trying to remember WHEN you had done that before with me. Seriously, so much of that scene is a block of time i just have no conscious memory of the details, just feelings and impressions.

PREPARATION
When we went back; i was so glad, no, totally relieved that your wife went first. i seriously doubt i could have without losing it. The practical part of me comes back and watches the preparations, critiquing aseptic technique. i must admit, there are some times when knowledge is NOT a good thing. The good thing about this time is i was concentrating on something other than what i was about to do. Overall i was impressed that it was very good, not surgically sterile, but still good. i did tend to notice every time something was less than aseptic. Although the area he was working on could never be considered aseptic in a surgical situation, and "clean" was the best that could be hoped for. Seeing that made me feel safer about the medical aspects of the procedure. Any comfort at that time was good. We still hadn't gotten through the strange man messing around where he has no business thing, and the needle, and the pain, the fear, that whole issue, but at least things started looking better.

ON THE TABLE
Being on the table, open and exposed like was extremely uncomfortable for me. i am glad you were there, and helping me to relax. i really don't like being that exposed in front of people i don't know. So I just pretend i am at the doctors, not that i find that any more relaxing. Shut down mode in a sense, such a natural reaction for me when things get too intense. This makes it easier to not freak every time he touches me, but i wonder if it didn't shut down too much.

i have no real desire to hear him telling me what he is doing, why or anything else, just do it and get it over with. i WANTED to do this? No i really do want to do this, too much planning and thought has gone into this, it IS important to me. i just don't want it to take so long, and i really don't want to know the details.

Focus! Remember what this is about, not letting the fear rule me. i do this too often, and this is a ridiculous fear to begin with. How many times have i been stuck with needles because of shots/blood draws and other various procedures? Have i ever died? Doesn't seem so, what the hell is there to be scared of? i have no idea. It doesn't even really hurt, to be honest. So why am i afraid? i don't know it doesn't make any sense.

Even now it still doesn't make any sense to me. i can't say i am all that impressed with needles, and am not going to be volunteering as a pincushion any time soon, but some of the weirded out fear is gone. i am not even sure if that is the way to put it, i just am thinking of being stuck as a non-event. i am not really sure how that happened, since i have just become aware of this feeling as i typed it out. i know i didn't walk out of the shop thinking at all about whether or not i was still afraid. In the end, analysis probably isn't going to make it make any more sense, or solve the mystery. Maybe my own decision to not be afraid anymore of needles was what did it.

Now, back to what is happening. Goodness, it is so good that you and your wife are holding my hands. i know i never thought about it at first, having her there as well. Once you mentioned she would like to, it just seemed so right, and i feel like i need her here as well. Most of the cleaning and marking and stuff i am really trying to ignore. i am getting a picture of that tree in my mind; this is a good thing. i have never been visual in any sense really. People are always saying, just picture it in your mind, and i just can't do that. But now it is coming, and it isn't clear, it isn't the right colors, but it is there.

THE ACTUAL PIERCING
It seems like now is the time the needle is going to come into this scenario. i almost spoke up and asked him to have your wife hold my labia open, when Bariah the piercer asked you to help and hold me open. i was doing a pretty good job up till then being non-reactive, and i wasn't sure i could keep that up with your hands touching me. Concentrate on relaxing. Yes, i am scared now, and this is going to hurt. Deep breath , and let it go slowly. Needle stick that burned a bit Now some tugging with the insertion of the ring and all there's that needed to be done, this doesn't hurt. I can't really feel anything. Totally anti-climactic here i believe. And where did those endorphins i am supposed to be flying on go?

There never was any pain with it, and for the longest time i couldn't feel its presence even. Makes me wonder if there were some natural anesthetics going on, or if i had just been so consumed by my fear, that the whole experience has kind of taken more out of me than i realized.

AFTER THE EVENT
Much later on that night i started to feel the ring being there. It felt kind heavy against my clit, not arousing at this point, just the weight there. It didn't rub that i noticed and there still isn't any pain. i am wondering if that is good or bad. i probably just over-anticipated the negative, and the reality is far from the horror my mind is so good at creating. Sometimes i am just too confusing, even to myself

NEXT MORNING
The next morning i wake up feeling, what is that word, AROUSED. i am amazed at the change in my awareness. It is a constantly arousing feeling right then, and i am WET. i feel it all the time. This is definitely going to take getting used to, and a lifetime supply of panty liners. i do like the feeling. You made an excellent choice Sir.

BUMPY ROADS IN THE COUNTRY
The road trip out to see the horse was an interesting new experience. i should have known NOT ride in the back of the van. Every bump, or shake or whatever of the road only served to make me increasingly wet. i really like this new toy, just wonder if i can handle leaving it alone until it is healed. i am REALLY feeling like i need to cum all the time, and THAT is tormenting. You are enjoying that thought now i imagine.

SEXUAL RELEASES NOW
Now, the actual experience with orgasm. WOW!!!!!!!! It is so much more intense than i have ever known; i get wetter than i have ever before. Screaming has become the order of the day with this activity i think. i have always been pretty vocal because i liked being that way, now i don't think i have a choice. It was not just the very first ones, but each of them since has this increased intensity.

MORE SELF DISCOVERY
i am still discovering new things about myself; changes brought about by the ring. Anal stimulation, which i have always enjoyed, is now enhanced to the point where it alone can bring me to the edge of an orgasm, and probably all the way to it had i not stopped. i had not thought before that it would be possible for me to achieve that level of arousal from this activity, and never would have expected that for me it could be the sole means of such intense pleasure. Now i am changing my mind.

As time has gone on i have become accustomed to the constant presence of my friend between my legs. When i need to focus and concentrate i am able to, but if i am alone, it makes its presence known, i become aware and aroused again. The intensity has calmed some as well. That is a good thing i don't think i could handle being so distracted all the time. Although there are still some days where i its like i can't really play with myself, but i can't help it either!

The latest discovery i made in my car the other evening. It wasn't something i intended, but in the process of moving around and getting something i needed i figured out just how to move to get a pleasing rub, and pressure from the ring. i may end up wiggling a lot more in class when i am bored now. Guess i will have to learn how to avoid that so i don't fail out of school.

In the end i am very pleased with the whole experience. It has changed a fear into a non-event, and also increased my enjoyment of my own body in ways i didn't imagine it could. The bond it symbolizes is brought to mind every time i become aware of its presence, and makes me smile. You have never been far from me in my mind and heart, and now in a way i carry you physically with me always.

View the clithood piercing

July 1999

epiphany^ gets her first set of Labia rings

Sir, i knew i was going to be given another writing assignment to write regarding my visit, but i was somewhat surprised that it was about the new piercings. This is definitely not a footnoted version saying "See first experience, times two." While i love your new labia rings, this was a completely different experience than the first time. My attitude about it was even exceptionally different.

The first time i did anticipate, but with a lot of fear, and anxiety. This time i genuinely looked forward to the experience. It was different going in not looking to exorcise a demon, but just to experience it for what it was. Sharing it with you again was just as important to me, for i doubt i ever would attempt it alone. Though my reasons aren't fearful. i just think it is something that should be shared.

Finding the reason i wanted these is harder than the last time. A big part of it was because of your musings about how you wanted to see me. Another part was that when the hood was done i had been so wound up with my phobia and my demons that i missed out on the experience in many ways. not to menyion i happened to think that raven's looked awesome and i wanted a set of those for myself.

When you said that you thought that this time the piercing should be passed on because of the timing i was disappointed as i told you. The amazing thing to me was that in spite of being disappointed i was at peace about it. i was going to accept that decision from you and not ask you to change your mind. i truly trusted that when the time was right, it would happen. For me that alone was a victory, since i struggle so with rejection. i know i didn't tell you then, but i was pretty proud of myself at that moment. However, my gratitude for you changing your mind knows no bounds. Thank you, Sir.

Everything including the car ride to the shop was different. i didn't feel anything but excited. There was no nervousness and near panic attack like last time. i couldn't wait to get there and get done. The shop actually looked different. i am sure that is because this time i could look around and see what was going on there. Waiting while he set up the room i felt very relaxed, and ready for what was to come.

Once in the room and on the table i just took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes focusing on the tree again. It seemed like things then went so fast. He was done with the prep cleaning, and was showing us the jewelry choices. i hate to admit it but it was quite amusing when he modeled them for you. The marking was fast as well. Maybe it just seemed that way because i had misconceptions based on what raven had said about hers. i simply bubbled inside when you told him to center the rings so that a set could be added above and below. Although you don't really need that as a hook to bring me back, i do love how it works that way.

After the marking and checking and inspecting was all done i was anxious to get it over with. Having you holding my hand and stroking my hair just added to my ability to relax. i was also glad t was there, i needed two hands to hold. As he tightened the clamps i started to get a bit nervous inside. The phone ringing was annoying, and i almost wished he would answer it, although it probably was more important that he keep going with what he was doing at the time. i knew what was coming when he told me to take that deep breath and hold it. iI was shocked at the pain, expecting what i felt last time. The stabbing just seemed to go on for several long seconds.

Then the endorphins kicked in and i was flying. Feeling your hand still stroking at my hair and my brow and my face was comforting, and kept me feeling close to you. i vaguely remember telling you that it hurt this time. i wish you hadn't warned me that the second one would hurt more. i think i would rather have been surprised with that one. All of a sudden i just couldn't help but giggle, i felt so good, and i couldn't wait for the next one. Although the interruption of the phone and others in the shop did give me more time to enjoy the ride.

i got suddenly nervous again when he came back in to do the other side. It was a bit harder to center and focus on relaxing, both because i was still flying some, and i was anticipating the pain again. When the actual needle came again i remember nothing but an incredible stabbing pain. i know that i squeezed hard on yours and t's hands. i had to consciously struggle with myself to relax after that one. i must have been successful because i heard you say "Good girl" as soon as my grip softened. i felt so great lying there on the table that i didn't realize it would be hard for me to sit up and move.

Once i did sit up though i got a sudden shock of reality that my body wasn't really prepared to balance itself yet. Again the giggles overcame me. They still surprise me because in many ways they seem contrary to my nature. It doesn't go well with my tough image I attempt to project. And i know you have always seen through it for the sham it is, but i still like to keep it around for the rest of the world.

Now that i have had them for a week i am finding i need to once again adjust to the sensation. They are quite tender still, and i have to be careful how i move. A sensation of increased arousal has accompanied these rings as well. As i move they will sometimes bump against one another, or the hood piercing. When that happens it sends a sudden thrill of arousal through me. They jingle from time to time, reminding me of you, keeping you close in my heart. It helps me to keep my submission to you in my heart, and to continue to strive to be pleasing to you.

For always Sir, i will be most grateful to you. You give so much to me and i can never repay you. You have led me down paths i would never have gone on my own. Learning to trust again has brought me back to life in so many ways.

view the rings

on march 16th, in celebration of the accompishments and service epip[hany has achieved.. her second set of outter labia rings were awarded. She will be writing soon about this milestone.Here now the first peek at her latest jewery.

5rings

- epiphany

e-mail epiphany^

Bad^s closing remarks

I have a friend on-line. Measta is slowly dying of Hepatitis C, for there is no known cure ...only hope of remission. She has two young daughters. She contracted the disease in the late 70's when it wasn't even identified as the third type of Hepatitis. She went on a whim and got a tattoo in a small shop in San Francisco and possibly contracted it there. What was a whim in her youth may well deny her the chance to see her children grow and have children of their own. She is a dynamic person and is working to develop a support group for the many folks who suffer from this life draining affliction.

Don't make decisions about body modification lightly. Choose only members of the Association of Professional Piercers. Here at home in Houston I choose Taurian Body Piercing. In Austin where all my personal piercings have been done, I use Forbidden Fruit. For the record I have had my tongue pierced two times. I gave the first one up three months after I did it because I neglected to downsize the rod after the swelling went away. I re-did it May of 1998 along with both nipples. My tongue is a 12 gauge now. and my nipples 14 gauge rings with hematite captives. I also have two ear piercings one up hi both rings with hematite. I have since epiphany. pierced another of my subs with a set of rings on outer labia. Gold 12 gauge with silver captive (looks awesome) My wife also have posts in her belly button nipples and tongue as well as the aforementioned "monroe" beauty mark on her face.

My advice....Examine thoroughly the shop and it's procedures. Learn what an autoclave is and how proper sterile packaging of instruments works. Any good piercer will show you these things. Learn completely the kind of work being done, the after care and supplies needed.

Remember: A tattoo or piercing doesn't look half as good when you are laying in a hospital bed or a coffin.

That said.. go and explore and make your marks in the world!

Visit A D/s Web Center's pages for more info, pictures and ideas.