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sunshine The Houston S&M Ball 2002 as experienced by chocolat by Vacation and the S & M Ball I am in the final hours of my vacation to Houston. This may sound like a prison sentence being executed, but it is always very difficult for me to leave. The warmth and closeness that I feel amongst Sir, sunshine, and chocolat is stupendous, something like I‚ve never felt in my life. Here I am part of an incredible family that is warm and loving and a work of art in motion. My journey started almost 2 weeks ago, first to Austin for the GWNN party and ending in Houston for a week of rest, excitement, fun, learning experiences, and finally the S & M Ball. I arrived in Houston on Wednesday in a bundle of excitement. It is always a little nerve racking finding my niche and making myself useful. Even though Sir has told me to relax and do whatever I want, I feel the need to align myself in the family. But I did take a few days, did some reading, some napping and resting up for the weekend that was ahead. Sir knew that it would be a stressful time even though it was tons of fun. By Friday afternoon I was stressing. Fear of the unknown had set in, even though I was at the Ball last year. This was a whole new experience again. Earlier in the day I had told Sir about my liking of rope bras and he decided that would be a good thing for me to wear under my dress. So chocolat and I had the time of our lives binding my breasts. I even managed to get the rope caught in my bottom retainer! Now that was a sight to see! The whole binding process kept chocolat and I in stitches. Guess you‚d never think of bondage as so much fun would you! weg The Ball started off with the play party on Friday evening. Everyone was dressed in his or her best, looking sharp and sexy. I wore my red dress and black stockings and felt absolutely sexy! I have never worn red in my life and never thought I‚d look good in it. Boy was I ever wrong! It was wonderful walking in and being seen with such a lovely group of people who exude beauty from the inside out. The first part of the evening was spent talking and catching up with friends, meeting some Internet friends, and making new acquaintances. We went through the vending area and I drooled over all sorts of yummy toys. Sir then decided to turn the volume up a bit. It was time to play. Sir and chocolat did an incredible spanking and needle play scene. We had a small center of spectators, and I got to assist Sir in the needle play. NO!!!! I didn‚t put any needles in myself, or anything of the sort. Lol Not something I would find easy to do! But I did keep a straight face and didn‚t cringe at all. After their scene, Sir found a play station for us. It was on the end of the 3-piece frame with a chain hanging. Sir didn‚t want me in my cuffs so I would not fly so far away. He wanted me in control and aware of my surroundings. I took my dress off and everyone that was around saw the rope bra. I felt a few eyes upon us and it really got me started. It was a wonderful scene and I still flew to my special place. There was some toy that felt particularly mean that I will call the whiskbroom. That was the only way I could explain what it felt like to pin point which toy it was. Sitting here now, I couldn‚t tell you which one it was even though Sir told me what it was. What was really special to me, besides the honor of playing with Sir, was being played in public at the Ball where all eyes are upon you. I have played quite a bit in public but never at an official gathering as this. That fact alone added to the wonderful headspace that I carried with me all weekend. Saturday rolled around and we all got ready for the first seminar, Master/slave relationships by Race Bannon. I walked into this seminar thinking I knew very little. And I walked out feeling a little bit more confident in myself. I am aware that I have very little time in the lifestyle but what knowledge I do have, I have worked very hard for and in the process of learning again, I am slowly rebuilding my confidence in myself. I lost a lot of self confidence when I was with my ex-boyfriend, he had a tendency to belittle me. I learned in counseling that it was a way for him to make himself look and feel better and it took attention away from his own feelings of inadequacy and lack of self worth. I always thought physical abuse was worse until I split with him and now, three years later, I am still picking up the pieces of my life. Points that were made in the seminar helped me to believe that I do have a clue about the lifestyle and life in general, and that I have a very healthy outlook on what I want in a relationship. I try very hard to keep the fantasy and the reality separate. When I first started out in the lifestyle, it was all very romantic to me, very much the fantasy world. It did not take me long to figure out the difference. When I started trying to apply the fantasies to my every day life, the two did not mesh together at all. Wow! Did I ever get off subject! lol Some things that I learned about Master/slave relationships are: 1. if you are in love with the partner, the dynamics of the Master/slave relationship changes. Know that it is two different relationships. 2. decide at the outset of the relationship what the reality threshold is 3. always remember there is no such thing as a perfect Master or slave, each are unique so things should be negotiated 4. contracts: a) some use them to validate their relationships b) remember that people change and contracts are made to be permanent, so in usage of contracts, don't make them so rigid that you are setting the relationship up for failure c) use them as short term general guidelines On to the rest of the day. After the first seminar, chocolat and I went on to the next while Sir and sunshine went to a different one. When it was over, we gathered up for some more shopping at the flea market, and then headed back to the house for some rest and relaxation before the Ball that night. After a rest, we got up and dressed and headed to the Ball. I was put on a lead that night which was quite new to me. Wearing a collar was one thing, but never had I been put on a lead. I was quite nervous and was clueless as to what my place was and where I was to stand. It was quite funny to me that after I was reminded once, that it came back to me from some of the research I had done in my past. It made me proud that even though I had never been on a lead, that I actually did have some idea as to what my place was! It was a proud realization for me. And having Miss chocolat in control of me was a new experience for me as well. Many eyes were on the four of us, and it was an honor to be included as a member. The evening progressed and we ran into many people we knew locally and from across the state. Finally we headed back to the house for some well deserved down time, hot-tubbing and wonderful conversation amongst us and some friends who had come to visit. The evening ended in the wee hours of Sunday. Sunday afternoon rolled around and we were all in for a treat. Time for more play! I think I stayed in my space all the way through Wednesday, the final day of dread. Time to go home. I packed my bags and stayed as long as I could without putting me on the road in the middle of the night since I had to work the next day. It was painful as usual for me to leave such a wonderful haven that I have found. Even though I am many hours away, all I have to do is close my eyes and a smile crosses my face. My memories will take me back there until I am able to make the next trip. 03.27.02

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