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Dallas Boy Training Class 99 On May first 1999 Several well regarded leather Masters afforded a select few to attend the first Dallas Boy Training Class. I was honored that the applications of two of my submissives slave raven and sunshine, were accepted. In a search to enhance our private Dominant and submissive roles, as well as learn and carry on the traditions, they have been assigned to write their experiences and learning here. Boy training by slave raven History . . Definitions. . Basic Behaviors of a boy / boi .petitions / negotiations. .Communication. . Obedience History As You well know, Sir the history stems from the returning soldiers who had found a need for the discipline and camaraderie they had in the military. This contingent was made up of almost completely gay men. At first they found some comfort in Motor cycle clubs which gave them a similar feeling of being united. This included the ritual of uniform only now they had moved from green and khaki to leather and "colors" (used to represent being with a specific club) in the form of patches and bandanas. These groups were spread out all over and were not really aware of each other even though they all were trying to form up around the same time. This separation of "groups, families, tribes, clans" is where some difference in the rituals stems from. Each unit had a lot of the same basic military protocols but each also had their own rituals and rules for the members. Basically a member joined under the lowest "rank" and learned the ways as they earned the right to do so. This was a part of the mystique the whole genre' was kept within. About the same time that the wide spread groups became more aware of each other (in the 70's) they were falling prey to the HIV/AIDS epidemic. The clubs were decimated as they lost all of the older members who had risen through the ranks from being boys/slaves up to "Daddies" and then to "Masters". With this devastation much of the information and rituals were lost. Now with all of them being a bit more Nationally recognized it didn't cause the total death of the lifestyle. Larger contingents had formed and preserved the rituals by adding community again. The community now was being united under the common ground against a common enemy. The gay and lesbian community in a life struggle against AIDS. Also linked with this time was a pulling back of the "Old Guard" as the newer generations began a bit more relaxed approach. Thankfully this was not the end of the Old Guard just a kind of a breather IMHO. The 80's heralded in the more SSC thinking since no cures were out for AIDS and in general on a National level the Leather community was much more recognized as a cohesive unit, a force to be reckoned with as it were. Now the Leather community includes all genders and sexual orientations. We even have The Leather Archives in Chicago to help preserve the history of this group. Basically it has added to the celebration of our diversity. This lifestyle is about bettering not losing self. Definitions Top/Daddy/Master- One who accepts the responsibility and control form the boy/slave. The Top was responsible to recognize the "spark" within a submissive/boy that just needed fuel for their fire to burn bright. boy/boi/submissive/slave- the one who gives over control to the Top. The boy is one who NEEDS to learn. They are to be ready and at hand to serve in a timely manner. Petition- written letter offering submission to a Top. It is used generally as the basis for the contract between both parties. Household- 1 Dominant with one or more boys/slaves under Him. Family- 2 or more Dominants with their boys/slaves who link together and follow the same protocols. This is not necessarily under one roof. (Like You and Sir Korwin and all of us girls, Sir we are all a Family. i like this idea) Spirituality of play- The knowing of each other. Interactions with power. Rituals Communication is a "MAJOR" part of giving over of the control or power to the Dominant to make the decisions. The Dominant is responsible to make the best decisions for the submissive but He must have all the information to do that. There are rituals which make the giving over of control an internal process. Some are daily reminders of station or place. Some are more pronounced and public even. There are "marks" of having completed these rituals such as earning the colors and or leather. These marks help keep the slave aware of where they are and focuses them on where they are heading. They reinforce the desire to be their best. A ritual is determined by the Dominant. Something as simple as crawling to bed at night, no eye contact unless told to, journaling, up to more general services such as self improvements like taking classes, professional improvements. Another form of ritual can be the submissive learning to read their Dominant and anticipating needs and nuances. (a personal goal of mine is to strive for perfection in this arena, Sir i am getting better i hope) Another part of the ritual as i see it is the wearing of the black leather. A Dominant will often have a leather vest or jacket, a leather hat, black leather boots and belt. A boy must earn the right to wear any leather from the boots up and it is their Dominant who decides when they have earned it. Another facet of this lifestyles way of stationing is that the Dominant will have the symbols/flags etc on their left while the boy will have them on the right. An example is the hankie code where each color represents a specific kink or desired type of play and a Dom seeking a boy will flag that color in the left rear pocket while a boy who enjoys a special type of play shows this by flagging in the right rear pocket.   Basic behaviors of a boy/boi Well first off there are public and private behaviors to separate out. Public behaviors can be the simple ideas such as following just behind and to the side the Dominant prefers, opening doors, no eye contact, standing when the Dom enters the room and simple basic polite and courteous behavior. Private behavior can include no clothes in the home, no sitting on the furniture, begins eating after the Dom does, sits when given permission (actually this is considered a public behavior also), and any other rules set out by the Dominant. Basic positions are the following ( the commands used to achieve these are decided by the Dominant as is what positions He wishes the boy to learn). Attention: This is the basic military attention. Upright, eyes ahead, hands at the sides, feet together with toes pointed out at 45 degree angles. Parade rest: hands being back, generally right over left and no higher than the small of the back, feet shoulder width apart, eyes are generally downcast unless told to look elsewhere. At Ease: is similar to parade rest only the arms are relaxed at the sides. Parade Attention: Like parade rest except the hands are now in front of the slave, arms extended down the front of the body, and left hand over right. The position to offer or receive something from the Dominant is to kneel down on one knee, head bowed, hands held up and in front of the slave with the offered drink or item balanced on the palms. A variation on this would be the drink held in one hand while the second hand is placed under the extended elbow for support. Kneeling is a bit of a personal choice of the Dom but some basic similarities exist. One type is the slave kneeling, knees apart, hands behind their back, buttocks touching their heels or if kneel up is preferred the slave kneels as before only is upright from the knees up often with the feet crossed at the ankles. Always the eyes are downcast. Another kneeling has the hands placed either palms up or down on top of the thighs. The position to receive a spanking or other attentions is generally with the knees apart, the head on the hands on the floor or maybe with the all fours position as the Dominant prefers. What the positions are and what they are called is the Dominants decision and preference of course.   In addition to the above positions and behaviors there is an accepted approach to a Dom by a boy and that is to enter the Dom's sphere of influence and stand at parade rest until the Dom recognizes you with a word or nod to speak or come closer. The slave actually does not wish to draw attention to them self at all. They should be almost invisible, it is the Dom's venue to draw attention. It is the boys responsibility to properly care for the Tops leather. Cleaning with an approved leather product and conditioning it regularly. Suggested products include mink oil, and picards leather dressing, kiwi black polish and parade gloss. Petitions / Negotiations As Sir is aware i have done a petition of sorts up to help Sir in His decision making process. As noted before it is designed to aid in negotiating a contract between the Dominant and submissive. It should be a way of helping the submissive to look inside of themselves and better define what it is they are seeking and needing. It needs to cover aspects of medical, personal, family, D/s, and work histories. It will help negotiate what both need versus want and whether or not they can achieve these goals together. Complete and total honesty are the only way this will work for anyone. It is a deep inner self look. It helps prevent uh ohs and most "land mines". My personal opinion is it should be reviewed periodically as growth can alter the answers. Since this is normally the basis for a "contract" between a Dom and submissive it needs to be complete and specific such as the degree of control being offered, length of time, clauses should either party be disabled from fulfilling the contract, reality versus fantasy must be discussed..life does go on.   Communication! Well here is the focal point as i see it. Without open, total honesty in communication the relationship is just about doomed. Communication is what allows both sides to stay on the same page in the sheet music. Harmony is always so much nicer than discord. Communication prevents hurt feelings and resentment AVOID the FAILURE CYCLE::Dom- You are not submitting, giving control, being obedient___sub- This isn't working, No Dominating, rules are not being enforced..etc. The whole failure here is no communication between the two expectations were not met but also were not expressed. The best way to maintain emotional safety is TALKING! Family meetings help to keep communication open. Both sides must be willing to listen. Communication is a major part of security. Security is tantamount to emotional health and happiness. Nothing is more terrifying than to have the security between the sub and Dom rocked. This can spell the end for the relationship. Communication needs to be open and without fear of repercussions (provided it is approached in a respectful manner) to anyone who is requesting free speech. Obedience A slave needs to have direction, goals and objectives as to where the Dominant wants them to go. Discipline is also a part of the obedience cycle. The slave has to be able to follow the guidelines and parameters. Self discipline is the key. Punishment is not desired by either side. Never cheat a slave out of a chance to be corrected. This can be used to remove guilt for a mistake. It is never to goal of the slave to fail or disappoint but often some resolution removes the roadblock to proceeding and succeeding for their Dominant. It also reaffirms the relationship and awareness that each side has of each other. Once it is done it is forgotten, do not allow dwelling on mistakes as this hampers the slave from progress and do not point out errors repeatedly as this undermines the slave also. Tasks for the slave are very important as they give a purpose and usefulness to the slave. A useful slave is a happy slave. Another aspect of obedience is the internalization of it. What this means is that it isn't good enough to obey the command the slave MUST want it inside. This is not to say a "Robosub" is desired because that is categorically not true. It is the independent desire to obey and please that makes a submissive what they are and desired by the Dominants. A key to achieving this is to "narrow the Directive Response Gap". This is the space of time between hearing the command and deciding to obey it. Trust in the Dominant is what is going to allow the slave to minimize this gap. This is a life long goal and is not going to be attained in a day or a week or a month. It actually is constantly tested and improved upon as the bond between Dominant and submissive grows. A submissive will never be perfect but they never stop trying for it. A way of improving this narrowing is with the use of the rituals we spoke of before, and of course COMMUNICATION. Being a leather boy or a submissive or a slave is internal to those of us who seek and desire it much as i can surmise is being a Daddy, Dominant or Master is to those on the other side of the coin. Basically the way i understand all i learned in this weekend is that to have success and happiness you must have open, honest communication.

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