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BLACKROSE-99 The Black Rose is a non-profit organization which provides a forum for the many different expressions of power in love and play.  This can include dominance & submission, bondage & discipline, fetishism, cross-dressing, to name a few. In 1999 the organization held it's 3rd Annual Event BR99 in Maryland. Three of those in service or training with me were sent to attend the event to, experience the large community and all the social and learning such an event can afford. raven, my most seasoned submissive was assigned to escort linda and desire to the event. They share their experiences and learnings here.   by linda Good evening Sir .. It is time to begin to share the experiences i have had over the past week or so, including the three days at BR. There is so much i want You to know about my anticipation, my feelings, my thoughts and what was actually witnessed in those BR days .. what was learned. i will share with You what i have written in my journal, Sir. This is primarily a record of brief impressions written for each day of BR, but i hope they give You some slight insight into what was shared by desire, raven and me. BR99 - Friday, November 5 The anticipation was finally satisfied today, Sir .. or at least the beginnings of this experience are behind us. The trip as You know was an 'adventure' and there was much laughter among Your ladies. .. but the real sense of what was and is to come began when we walked into the Ramada this afternoon. You could feel the energy, Sir .. the organization, the size and set up of the registration area alluded to the enormity of the event. raven's presence and self-confidence lowered my anxiety level, and yes, i was anxious. After we completed our BR registration, and picked up tee shirts and run pins, we made a fast trip to our hotel, registered and dressed for the evening at the Ramada. The first impression upon reentering the Ramada came with the now crowds of people milling around the lobby area. People were dressed in an array of fetishwear representing interests and the freedom to simply express who they are. We made our way into the ballroom area and the first formal event of BR99 .. the parade of colors. i had never witnessed such evident pride which was displayed by the individuals chosen to carry and present the colors of the various clubs. i was acutely aware of the camaraderie and support displayed during that opening ceremony, Sir .. it was unexpected, as well as a bonding experience for me and apparently for the others present as they applauded and cheered on the different groups. We were still getting our bearings around this time, and there were many little unexpected moments which kept cropping up ... finding a familiar face, having two extra bundles of 'auction money' tucked into the bodice of my corset by one of the women BR staff, having a chance to speak with Sir Thomas again . The Dungeon Let me speak to my first evening in the BR dungeon. Again, Sir, the scale was massive, with so many different play stations that even with several circles around the exhibition center i know i have not as yet taken it all in. Much of the equipment was familiar, but there were other things which were unknown to me. There were many play stations .. crosses, etc. .. which looked like fine artisans had created them, and everything appeared to be in constant use, or being made ready for use by the next people waiting to share in the pleasures of the night. As we walked around and observed i found myself fascinated at times with all the newness - and, at times, an extreme intensity of play i'd never witnessed. i found my body and mind alive with excitement .. yes, Sir, i am Your wet slut. Many questions formed in my mind and i asked raven to explain or clarify some things for me as we went along. One of the things raven and i talked about was a piercing scene we watched .. 14 needles in two symmetrical rows down the subs upper back. i was fascinated and frightened watching the Dominant prep and insert the needles through her skin. i saw a number of people being played 'free-standing' - no equipment or restraint in use, and i thought of how i depend on tightening my fingers around restraint, or rope, or chain, or whatever i can grasp onto to 'absorb' the pain for me .. or at least that is how i experience it, Sir. desire, raven and i finally agreed to a last walk around the dungeon around 1:00 am and that was when my friend Mike finally saw me, called my name, and gave me a wonderful warm hug of greeting. He walked with us a bit and introduced us to his friends from the Virginia Beach PEP group. ::blush:: Mike asked if he could see my nipple rings .. i declined softly, but it was a reminded of how many things i'd shared in conversation with him over the years. Some of my feelings today Sir? They ran from excitement and awe, to envy and want. i found myself frightened, and yet wondering what things would feel like and what my response would be. i thought of You so often, Sir and wished You were sharing this special first with us. it was a wonderful day, Sir .. made more so by sharing it with raven and desire .. thank You, Sir. *smile* Goodnight, Sir. BR99 - Saturday, November 6 My body and mind are completely exhausted tonight Sir, but my spirit is euphoric with the endless excitement of the day. Much of this day was spent separated from raven or desire .. or both of them at times .. as we went about the day participating in various workshops. in talking together, we all seem to agree that our expectations of what would be covered in some workshops was not exactly in keeping with the reality, but not one of us seemed disappointed in the quality of the speakers or the information which was out there to be absorbed .. and that was also the problem, Sir. Each hour or two hour presentation could have been a day's conference in and of itself, so often we got the briefest overview of the subject being shared. The workshops which i attended today Sir were the following: The Unspoken Language...Ritual in BDSM Scenes This presentation was done by David Flaherty, who describes himself as gay, Roman Catholic, ex-seminarian and lover of ritual. By its description, i had expected the focus to be classic D/s traditions and rituals, however, the workshop was actually about creating your own rituals. He suggested ritual to be used in solitude as a reinforcement (sounds familiar, Sir *smile*), but more so, he was talking about ritual being used in a group setting to bond, to validate, to cleanse, to honor, to reinforce, to serve whatever purpose an individual or group feels would be heightened by the use of a formally prepared and executed ritual. Just a brief example Sir .. the ritual he suggested for putting aside something painful, such as an abuse memory. it was suggested such a ritual might include the person be bond in cord, and given the means to cut themselves free during the ritual. During the course of the ceremony the broken cord might then be placed in a fire in order to completely destroy any power which the memory of the abuse may have still have had over their lives. Other elements and the participation of friends would be carefully planned to demonstrate support and movement to new plateaus. boys, bois, boyz This was done by a panel of four boys/bois .. and it addressed the inclusion and increasing numbers of girl/bois, misperceptions of boys as equating to slaves, and the effort of this particular boys community to educate. While Old Guard boyz were mentioned in passing during this presentation, there was limited discussion of history and traditions, which was what i had hoped would be more the focus. For the most part, the four panelists discussed their entrance into the boys community, as well as some of their personal experiences as boys/bois. The workshop gave an interesting insight into this particular expression and room comments were lively. Flogging The planned presenter of this workshop had canceled, and it was moderated instead by three other people. They brought with them about two dozen different floggers (which they had 'borrowed' from the vendors upstairs), and they circulated these around the room while they described the differences in types, weights, materials used, shapes of tail ends, length and balance of handles, and various other elements of the physical properties of floggers. An overhead projection was used to address safe areas for flogging, and 'war stories' were shared of more comical moments of floggers disintegrating or flying across rooms when grips were lost during play. There was also a brief demo of flogger use, but the more general hands-on instruction described in the BR course description was not carried through. This felt like a primer course .. Flogging 101 .. and it definitely had its value. SM Activists Roundtable Once again, this was a panelist discussion/presentation of various experiences people are having/what is being done towards promoting a positive image of the D/s community to the community at large. One presenter from Tulsa spoke of promoting a police-friendly community through outreach efforts including formal appointments/discussions with various law enforcement officials explaining the nature of the D/s community. A result of that effort was described as being the D/s community being called back to act as consultants on D/s sensitive cases and appeared to be a very positive relationship in the making in Tulsa. Joseph Bean, Director of the Leather Archives also spoke about his work in Chicago, promoting a positive BDSM image, and an emphasis on safe/sane/consensual education as the way to distinguish D/s for the community. (i admit Sir, i began to nod out in this forum....it was NOT exciting or particularly stimulating as presented, and it was a very long day at that point.)   This was our second night attending the dungeon Sir, and raven, desire and i prepared ourselves quite differently tonight .. more soberly i would have to say. There was knowledge and almost a tangible awareness that leashes would be used, and chris would be present among us. Dressing had almost a ritualistic quality about it .. desire and i were corseted, and raven became chris, snapping leashes on each of us before leaving the room. Even in the bus ride we were silent, desire and i sat with eyes forward and hands crossed in our laps. There were no instructions given by raven, but when she assumed the persona of chris, there was a natural responsiveness which emerged and carried over throughout the night. chris led by leash, with a nod to indicate direction or simply a glance, and i was less consciously aware of responding to those things then following the natural inclination which raven's actions and gestures indicated as being the desired response from me and desire. The dungeon was more somber it seemed tonight .. more intense edge play was occurring in my eyes, and the very first scene which greeted us was a suspension using hooks and cords the whole length of a submissive's body as she was being prepared for full suspension. The hooks through her flesh, the stretching of her skin to the point where it looked as if it must rip away from the metal hooks, the sounds of her pain, and presence of people in front of her supporting her, drawing her pain into themselves as they attempted to exchange their own energy back to her .. an incredible scene Sir, something which i could not have visualized in all its facets without having witnessed it in person. There was a moment when i was looking at the stretching of the skin on the submissive's back, waiting for the hook to rip free, when i found my head swimming with the intensity of the scene. i closed my eyes and drew in my breath slowly, centering myself again. chris led us away from this scene for a while, but we returned in time to see the actual suspension accomplished as the board below the submissive was removed. The cords on which she was suspended were repeatedly stimulated with long sticks to maintain her level of chemical release, and she flew Sir .. she flew. The night was spent circulating throughout the dungeon area, stopping to observe different scenes in various stages of progress. desire and i were guided by chris and i experienced my own 'high' at being there in Your name. its hard to describe the feeling Sir, but as i walked through the crowd, hands behind my back, i knew without question in my mind that the lead of the leash would assure the opening of a pathway for me, as well as desire. my trust was placed in chris totally. Modest glances around me showed we were being observed. in speaking with desire and raven during the night, it seems my experience was shared by all of us...there was a new and special bonding which was unique to where and who we were in that moment. Again, the dungeon was filled with new visions .. piercings where bells were sewn onto two sub's chests, a variety of different suspension pieces in use, clampings and probings and tortures of all types being employed everywhere you looked. Rows of tables where waxing were being performed, floggers and whips being applied throughout the room .. stimulation, stimulation, stimulation .. the physical around me, the emotional within me. Your wet slut Sir. *smile* You could not escape a sensory overload while you were present in the dungeon...the intensity never stopped. raven, desire and i sat in the hospitality area and talked about what we were seeing, experiencing .. and so many thoughts were similar. it was a wonderful night Sir .. only brought to a close because of the lateness of the hour. BR99 - Sunday, November 7 BR ended for us today with a series of lectures, Sir. i feel the sadness of something wonderful ending, but i'll also carry the elation of what i have shared with raven and desire with me for a long time to come. The regret we have all expressed to one another is that You weren't here with us to share in the experience .. there is no question that the richness of this experience would have opened itself up to You in ways we might not even understand, Sir. Corporal Punishment i am sitting here smiling down at the words .. Corporal Punishment. This lecture was unique Sir. The presenter was William ReMine, and it was his 'style' of presenting the course material which makes it most memorable, Sir. This was a soft spoken man, Sir, dressed in business attire of white shirt and tie....and he began the lecture by speaking in generalities of positions, implements, furniture, positioning options, etc. His 'style' was subtle Sir...the casual roll of a sleeve cuff, the unbuckling of his belt .. the low steady tone of his voice. This is as far into his presentation as we were able to observe, Sir, as it was time to move onto another presentation which overlapped CP. The Rights and Responsibilities of Submissives This was a very general, light discussion Sir .. it touched on issues such as the right to negotiate scenes, the right of refusal of any suggested scene element, and the right to expect respect of and response to safe words. The panel was made up of both Dominants and submissives, and they presented the material in a way which stimulated some discussion. Known Terrorists Answer 'What is the Edge' i learned several things here Sir. First, when someone asked what are your interests and limits, the devout edge player will be the one highlighting your hard limits with a yellow highlighter and smiling. All the "terrorists" on the panel placed great emphasis on the psychological aspects of D/s as being their personal playground. .. and electric staple guns and other power tools are things a submissive must make sure are not visible when she enters into play with someone .. NOT a good sign. Actually, this was a really interesting workshop and the people doing the presentation all seemed very grounded in issues of safety relating to their use of edge play techniques. Tips for Tops (i had actually planned to attend the 'Branding' workshop, but realized it was 2-hours and overlapped something else...and so i ended up here...Tips for Tops *smile*) my favorite tip from this workshop was that "subs should be recyclable" .. it sounds flip, but they actually talked about mutual responsibility in a scene. The balance of the presentation focused on very simple, concrete considerations of negotiation, play space, use of tools/toys, new Dom anxiety and other such issues. it was an interesting perspective to be exposed to, Sir. Quirts and Dressage Whips The presenter for this was Thomas Horton, and he discussed and demonstrated the unique properties of a number of different implements, Sir. it was a fairly straight forward informational lecture. Dominance and Submission - different sides of the same coin This was the last lecture i participated in, and unfortunately the least effective i attended. The panel was made up of three D/s couples and the intent was to present an issue and allow the Dom and then sub to express their personal views on the topic. All it said to me was D/s couples like vanilla couples negotiate their everyday lives, assign tasks to the most competent in any area, and like to play together. BR99 was more then i could have imagined .. its size and scope were so far beyond my ability to comprehend that i was not prepared to take it all in this year. That leaves next year .. to do it right, Sir. *smile* in all honesty, i cannot imagine not being part of this experience where once a year you can actually have the opportunity for three days of exposure to other like-minded people from all varieties of experiences, talk, share, listen, and finally, play together. linda

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