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On dealing with "Self"........4/
22 /98
lil^pet is assigned hugs
duty / ...sof^petal explores "failing"
MasterBE and Bad^ debate
: Must self respect be "earned"?
MasterBE introduces the
concept of "Compassionate Strength"
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Log file opened at: 4/22/98 12:09:17 AM
*** Topic for #D/s_subStation: The sub's Station, D/s no BS. http://members.aol.com/MrBadSir/bad/substation.htm
*** Topic for #D/s_subStation set by Bad^ on Wednesday, April 22, 1998
4:48:35 AM
#D/s_subStation: Bad^ @teece{T} @ce`myst @sof^petal @lil^pet`afk @MasterTeacher
@WillWate
sof^petal: miss you guys too!!!!!!!! kisss the kids please
lil^pet: i am hoping he will come down this way..
sof^petal sighs
sof^petal: I miss my friends
lil^pet hugs sof tightly..
lil^pet: i miss mine too hon.. alot..
Master^BE: which friends sof?
lil^pet: and i miss my kids..
sof^petal: I moved several months ago to start a new life Sir cornvict
is an old friend from my hometown
lil^pet looks at the clock.. and decides Now is not a good time to
call her daughter..
lil^pet wipes her eyes..
sof^petal smiles sadly Thank you for asking Sir
Master^BE: sof you gave up your life to move?
lil^pet reaches for the happy button.. reading the last joke her daughter
sent her
*** x_xan (x_xandria@ip114.houston2.tx.pub-ip.psi.net) has joined channel
#D/s_subStation
Bad^: Hello x_xan, welcome to #D/s_subStation
lil^pet: hello x xan.. to another Houstonian
ce`myst: hi x_xan
lil^pet laughs..
sof^petal: No I started a healthy one and left a very Baddd marriage
and came to a new job and a chance or so I thought and then I failed
so I get lonely for them
x_xan: good evening
lil^pet: more Houstonians into BDSM ...
teece{T}: hello x_xan
x_xan: im here in dalnet first time tonite
Master^BE: failure is but an opportunity sof
teece{T}: seems that way lil^pet
Bad^: xxan are you here in Houston?
sof^petal: no Sir I dont think so
teece{T} wonders if Houston is the capital for D/s
x_xan: yes i am Sir
sof^petal wanders the same
Bad^: Do you play public or belong to any of the local groups?
WillWate: Ok.
Master^BE says it isnt Salem Ill tell you that
Bad^: teece and lil^pet are the travellers they might say.
lil^pet smiles
teece{T}: lets hear it lil^pet
x_xan: no Sir,i have not
x_xan: ive only been shown to dalnet tonite, please excuse my slowness..*s
*** Signoff: ce`myst (Client exited)
Bad^: x_xan do you attend real life stuff here in town?
Master^BE: sof petal?
x_xan: no Sir,i have not attended anything here in Houston, only private
sof^petal: Yes Sir?
Master^BE: what is your success in life?
x_xan: Bad Sir, i would like to swap pictures if you wish
sof^petal: be sides my kids nothing yet Sir
Bad^: Yes x_xan proceed.
Master^BE: sof that is a huge sucess
x_xan: i hope you will be patient with me here,am very nervous here
Sir
teece{T}: don't be nervous x_xan
sof^petal: are yo talking about my schooling as well Sir
lil^pet: x_xan.. this is a very warm and secure place..please feel
safe and nutured here
Bad^: No need to be nervous with me x_xan.
Master^BE: sof you are a success in many ways already:)
Bad^: And the folks who gather here are warm and caring and we all
nurture each other.
Darkblue^: :))))
teece{T} agrees with Bad^ sir on both statements
sof^petal blushes
Bad^ smiles warmly at teece another Houstonian for another week or
so.
sof^petal: yes sis this is a safe place and ppl here care for each
other so much
back to top
lil^pet snuggles with the blanket.. and misses elmo.. sigh.. left him
in houston with daughter..
teece{T} would like to be here longer - but without a paying job it
would not be possible
Bad^: lil_pet who gtives you r/l hugs there now?
lil^pet: noone Sir
Bad^: Why not?
x_xan: thank u lil pet
lil^pet: there is no one too..
sof^petal: Master^BE I am waiting to pass my boards and will be a "professional
"since I graduated with my "Degree" in December
lil^pet: i gave hugs to some one in group tonight..
x_xan: now,may i ask a possibly obvious question?
lil^pet: she needed them.. worse than i did..
Bad^: You should give hugs each day to those who host you.
Master^BE smiles to sof see what I mean
lil^pet: so i hugged her and held her..
teece{T}: of course x_xan
lil^pet: and she cried in my arms for awhile..
lil^pet: I do hug them Sir.. but they are not huggers.. they are not
much into touching..
sof^petal: well let me get through these boards again before you start
believing in me again Sir :)
teece{T}: never feel afraid to ask a question x_xan
Bad^: lack of human contact is what is driving you nuts lilPet. You
SHALL hug folks at least twice a day. Understood?
WillWate: Those are the ones who need it most pet.
x_xan hugs teece for being so kind
Master^BE: again sof? nah we do belive in you
lil^pet: Yes Sir.. i will do so..
x_xan smiles warmly
x_xan: thank you so
sof^petal: I failed them Sir in February in fact took a major beating
on my self esteem and confidence Sir
Master^BE: and why was that sof?
teece{T}: x_xan... if you hit the first letter of the persons nick
and then the tab key - it should write their nick out in full for you
- if more than one nick by that initial then hit tab again until it
scrolls to it
x_xan: teece{T},that is very helpful thank you
sof^petal: cause I failed Sir I let myself down and my kids and have
to be the highest degree at work with the lowest job and they treat
me so Badddly all cause I choaked
Master^BE: choked sof? no sof
sof^petal: oh I did Sir I threw up and hyperventlated LOL
Master^BE looks at sof
sof^petal thanks A/all not a sob story just being honest
Bad^: BE I am working intensely with her and have underwritten her
next exam.
sof^petal looks to Bad^ and smiles softly
Master^BE nods to Bad
Bad^: She has learned to relax and identified who set her up to fail
that day... and some other good tools.
sof^petal nods
Master^BE smiles thats wonderful
Master^BE: sof I wonder something?
sof^petal: oh shyt now you all know and will ask if I passed or failed
dang it
sof^petal: what is that Sir
Bad^: there is something wrong with friends caring?
lil^pet smiles..
sof^petal: not caring but believing and I have to say I messed up
Master^BE: sof I wonder why passing this exam is so important?
x_xan: i will try again Sir
sof^petal cries softly cause I am a nurse and everyone said iwas not
good enough for anything Sir
sof^petal: and I made it
Bad^: It will double her salary and put food on her table. BE
Master^BE: and those who said that are your friends?
sof^petal: graduated 4th in my class and I need to feed my kids and
be a good mom
Master^BE: sof YOU are a good mom
teece{T}: you are a good person sof^petal sis and they need to stop
hassling you
lil^pet hugs sof close
Master^BE nods to teece
sof^petal: ok enough I cant do this please can we switch the subject
Bad^: No.
Bad^: take the caring sof.
sof^petal: please Sir
lil^pet sits quietly next to sof.. holds her hand..
lil^pet: sof... remember earlier.. when i was so upset..
lil^pet: and everyone took care of me..
sof^petal: yes sis
lil^pet: especially you
lil^pet: let us love you and care for you in the same way...
sof^petal: thatis what I DO though
lil^pet: it is what i do too...
lil^pet: as Sir.. he will tell you..
lil^pet: but.. i have learned..
Master^BE: it is what TRUE friends do sof
lil^pet: to accept (finally) the caring from others..
lil^pet: as = ask
lil^pet: it is hard at first..
lil^pet: but..
sof^petal: this is just really raw for me though
Bad^: taking nurishment is the only way you can get strength to give
it sof.
sof^petal: it is only a few weeks away
sof^petal: I can give it and give it Sir
lil^pet: if you just left it wash over you softly like a gentle shower..
it covers your gently.. soothes you.. comforts you.. and it becomes
part of you
sof^petal: But I cant take it I really cant scares the hell out of
me and you know that Sir
Bad^: I am learning about it.
lil^pet: it replenishes the part of you that does give.. so you can
give more
Bad^: Okay I guess we should all back off sof for now.
lil^pet sits by her still.. quietly..
Bad^ frowns sad she gives in so easily to her fears.
MasterEno: hi lil pet how are you tonight
lil^pet smiles.. i am doing better Sir.. being with people i care about
and that care about me
sof^petal: NO Sir I will Not run!!!!!!!!
sof^petal: I thank you all so much for your care
Bad^: Better sof^ Much better.
lil^pet smiles at sof
sof^petal: and I opened the discussion and I get to close it
WillWate: petal, what is it that scares you.
Master^BE: sof we give it freely
lil^pet: i love you Sis..
WillWate: Withdrawn.
sof^petal wipes her eyes and tries to answer
lil^pet hands sof a tissue..
sof^petal: that I will be a good person after all and "they"
will all be wrong
Bad^: Unfamiliar turf in your own mind I suspect.
sof^petal: Yes Sir
WillWate: Why are the "THEY" so important?
sof^petal: cause they could offer love Sir
Bad^: lil^pet any of this sound familiar?
sof^petal: and they did not
lil^pet: yes Sir..
lil^pet: sounds very much like me..
lil^pet wipes her eyes too..
Master^BE: sounds like part of being human
lil^pet: sof...
sof^petal: Yes sis?
lil^pet: the hardest thing Sir has taught me... is to love me...
Bad^: So often we take the crumbs and beleive the myth it is all we
deserve.
lil^pet: and then the rest doesnt matter..
sof^petal: lol rememember Sir when I frist came here?
sof^petal: first even
lil^pet: and once.. you love yourself.. the other
love.. comes.. with out work
Bad^: I do
sof^petal: what of all animals did I choose to describe me
sof^petal: a damn bird
sof^petal: lol
sof^petal: Yes sis Bad^ is trying patiently I might add to help me
see that
Master^BE: there is strenght and courage in a bird
sof^petal: yes Sir a Hawk or an Eagle
sof^petal: I came here a finch
Master^BE: a finch is wise sof
WillWate: Even a finch has fore and hind sight.
sof^petal smiles
sof^petal: I have insight that is true
teece{T}: and must have courage to fly high above the houses even though
it is only a small creature
Mannac smiles at lil^pet
Bad^: sof looks fine fore and hind.
x_xan must be going and would like to thank you all for being so kind,
good night all
sof^petal grins
*** x_xan has left channel #D/s_subStation
Master^BE: goodnight xxan
Bad^: nighters x_xan
sof^petal: night sis return soon
lil^pet: Everyone.. please Meet Mannac..
teece{T}: that was quick
lil^pet: he is a dear Friend..
Bad^: hello Mannac
Mannac: a friends of deers I am
lil^pet smiles..
sof^petal: Bad^ Sir May I please come and hug you and sit beside you
for a bit
Bad^: I never turn down a hug.
Bad^: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{sof}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
teece{T}: hehe
sof^petal walks softly over and wraps her arms around you so tightly
sof^petal: (((((((((Bad))))))))))))
Bad^: And as one I protect you are always under my wing and by my side.
<smiling to lil^pet as well>
Master^BE: Bad sir?
Bad^: BE?
lil^pet smiles back
back to top
Master^BE: Bad do yo beleive that self respect must be earned
sof^petal sits down on her pillow next to Bad^ and listens
Mannac: self respect is a gift you give yourself.
Bad^: No. I do not beleive self respect must be earned. It is inherent in our existance. It is often stripped away by
ignorant or ill meaning people in our youth.
teece{T}: school kids can be VERY good at stripping self confidence
from others
teece{T}: er self respect even
teece{T}: thinking on thing and typing another
Master^BE nods yes and no one can give another self respect
Bad^: Yes I have helped people regain their self resepct.
Master^BE: by doing right Bad?
teece{T}: something that can be taken TOO EASILY but very difficult
to put back
teece{T}: kind words and encouragement that is sincere help
Bad^: If you have explored the D/s subStation pages you might see one
example. I think lil^pet can share another. and I have just begun working
with sof in that area as well.
Master^BE: yes Bad I have read them all
sof^petal nods
Master^BE: and I applaud you efforts
Bad^: The first step is realising you are not "LESS"
then anyone else that walks the planet. It is hard to reach some folks
with this notion.
sof^petal smiles
Bad^: It works better with people who have children because I often
ask them if their children deserve LESS for some odd reason.
Master^BE: i believe differently Bad
Bad^: When they rush to defend their children I then ask them why the
would imagine THEY adeserve any less then their own offspring.
Master^BE has the view there is always someone better than us
Bad^: That is when the first light seems to break...
Master^BE: and we must learn to accept it
Bad^: Then the next step. Identifying who took the respect away.
WillWate: Yea, BE, they're just very hard to find.
Bad^: Then getting angry with these theives. there is a formula for
restoration to be sure.
Master^BE: I see the formula Bad
Master^BE: thieves Bad?
Master^BE: we all have thieves in our lives
Bad^: BE There are always people hungrier or more full.. richer or
poorer.... more altruistic or selfish... uglier or more beautiful..
Why bother to compare?
Master^BE: exactly Bad accept who we are:)
Bad^: If you think you are anything but dead center you have a skewed
vision of your place in life.
Master^BE: ultimately we are measured by our character
Bad^: I thought I was a poor man who had no shoes until I met a man
who had no feet.
sof^petal: I see that at work Sir Bad^ makes me see I am lucky in fact
Bad^: Ultimately I refuse to be measured.
teece{T}: nice comparison
Master^BE: Bad we are all judged when we go
sof^petal: I can breathe and they cant
Master^BE: WE are not the judges
Bad^: When I go. I care not.... I am gone.
Master^BE: so then Bad why do good?
Bad^: What counts is today... did I leave things
a lil better then I found them? If every soul did this....
well it boggles the mind.
sof^petal nods
teece{T}: I like THAT idea too Bad Sir
teece{T}: I try to help all I can
Bad^: Do good because it feels fine to be done good. so share.
sof^petal: ripple affect
teece{T}: it give me a good feeling to help others
Master^BE: but wouldnt it feel just as good to be selffish?
sof^petal: The Big Top gave me that Gift :)
Bad^: If you have no need for fellow man it feels fine. But then the
quandry.. why are you on the planet at all if you do not need fellowship
and touchin of other souls?
Bad^: Spiritually we are each here on this plane as a classroom.
Master^BE: so you do see a bigger picture bad
Master^BE: to learn from each other every day
Bad^: BE my vision is widescreen but not all subscibe or agree. Still
I am correct! <grin>
Master^BE laffs
Bad^: No BE.. we each pass through here many times ( and other places
too I suspect)
WillWate: As is he Bad^.
sof^petal grins and agrees
Bad^: Most of us don't even realise we contracted this passing before
arriving here.
Master^BE: I was led her by pet_elle
teece{T}: I agree with the idea of passing through here many times
Bad^: But if you can understand the lesson you set up before your birth...
you can learn the goal of your "lessons" on each passing.
Master^BE means this earth
sof^petal: my angels know and bring me through each one even though
I do not know this plane
Bad^: For me personally.. one o f the goals toward my higher spiritual
plane ( as an example) in this life... is to learn true compassion.
Back to Top
Master^BE: Bad are you familiar with mediation?
Bad^: My empathy began as suffering as a child. But now I must learn
patience.
Bad^: I have heard of it.
Bad^: each of us has our own lesson plan on each passing.
Master^BE: there is a concept in mediation called compassionate strength
Bad^: do tell
Master^BE: when 2 parties are in a conflict
Master^BE: the traditional paradigm says success is reaching an agreement
Master^BE: the new paradigm called transformational mediation
Master^BE: says success is 2 fold
Master^BE: understanding the other party(compassion) and
Master^BE: empowerment(streength)
Master^BE: hence the goal of compassionate strength
Master^BE: it is a model of balance
Bad^: Good tools for this day and age BE
Master^BE: yes but not widely used
Bad^: I have recently applied such concepts not knowing the blueprint
of them.
Master^BE nods
Bad^: So I can attest that yeilding and caring and granting the
other power... Does enhance one's own standing long term.
lil^pet smiles at Sir..
Bad^: 2 fold fer sure.
Bad^: It is not at all about caving or giving up control however.
Master^BE: MT sir?
lil^pet: hugs hugs hugs hugs < < Bad^ > > hugs hugs hugs
hugs
MasterTeac: Yes BE ?
Master^BE: sharing control bad
Master^BE: MT what are your thoughts here?
Bad^: yeppers but negotiating how it shall be shared to meet each parties
needs best.
Master^BE nods
Master^BE didnt get that
MasterTeac: comapassion is used to see a problem and also used in conjuction
with understandingto see what is said and Truly Meant .. also one then
can divide truth and approach with honesty
MasterTeac: then you truly se the way clear to resolution and understand
to share it wuth the other party
Bad^: I prepare to depart. Anyone object to my posting of this discussion
on our site?
lil^pet doesnt..
Master^BE: not I
sof^petal: no Sir
lil^pet hugs Bad^ tightly
teece{T}: fine with me
WillWate: None here.
MasterTeac: :)
teece{T}: sleep well Bad^ Sir
Bad^: Cool now how do we bring closure to it?
Master^BE: goodnight Bad
Bad^: works for me.
Master^BE: closure? we turn the page
WillWate: Enjoy your sleep Bad^.
sof^petal: be well Sir and sleep
lil^pet is who she is.. and where she is.. because of What Bad^ has
taught her
sof^petal: (((((((Bad^)))))))))))
Bad^: Wait I cannot leave while they sing my accolades!
Bad^: lol
teece{T}: giggle
lil^pet: and i am a wonderful person... because of those things
sof^petal giggles
lil^pet: i was wonderful before...
lil^pet: but i was buried under the crap of others opinions..
teece{T}: you always have been a wonderful person lil^pet
sof^petal: yes sis!!!
lil^pet: but.. now.. i have climbed out.. and am standing on top
of that pile.. and I am Me.. and I am beautiful.. and I am wonderful..
and I am ME!
WillWate: I always knew it pet.
Master^BE smiles to pet well said
lil^pet does a lil happy dance while she cries tears of joy!
sof^petal hugs her sister tightly
MasterTeacher hands pet a kleenix
lil^pet takes the kleenix and blows.. and wipes her eyes
MasterTeacher smiles
lil^pet: as much as i have cried tonight and last night.. you would
think i would be dry now.
Bad^: There is much cleansing for you to do pet.
WillWate: The heart will pump them forever.
lil^pet: Yes Sir.. you are right.. and I am..
sof^petal: tears are endless sis keeps us clean
lil^pet: OH..
lil^pet: i forgot to tell you Sir..
Bad^: Learning to be alone and not lonely learning to love from
inside.... learning to reach and MAKE hugs happen... all hard lonely
tasks at first.
lil^pet: the group i go to.. at the Salvation Army..
lil^pet: the facilitator.. she is understanding about BDSM
Bad^: Wonderful that makes it all easier.
lil^pet: she talked about it tonight in group even!
teece{T}: excallent
MasterTeac: I use BDSM dont you wish every body did ?
lil^pet smiles
Master^BE smiles to the room
Master^BE has to leave goodnight all
WillWate: Good Night BE.
lil^pet: Goodnight Master^BE
sof^petal: Good Night Master^BE Sir
WillWate: Sleep well.
*** Master^BE has left channel #d/s_substation
sof^petal yawns as well
MasterTeac: I think I also will hitthe sack :)
*** Signoff: Norma
MasterTeac: night folks *Smile* to everyone
sof^petal: I thank you A/all so much tonight
sof^petal: Night MasterTeacher Sir
WillWate: Nite petal.
WillWate: Good Night MT.
Log file closed at: 4/22/98 2:37:07 AM
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